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Advice for first-time mum of nearly 2-year-old re tantrums and everything being a battle?

4 replies

Armo24 · 04/04/2026 14:34

Hello! I have a 22 month old daughter (my first) and she has undergone a personality transplant the past couple of weeks from sweet laidback thing to raging at everything - down to putting her hairclip in, sitting in the highchair, any clothes being put on or off, putting shoes on, going in the buggy, etc etc. Massive tantrums through the day if she doesn't get her way.

I know it's normal at this age but I don't know how to deal with it - I've tried making things into a game/singing songs for certain tasks/her toys getting her dressed or doing her nappy etc, and a bit of bribery too, and it eventually works but it's a long old process and I'm pretty sure I'm not supposed to be negotiating with her to this extent (it instinctively feels a bit weak and wrong!). Plus if we're ever in a rush I just have to get on with it and she has a meltdown.

What is the best advice for coping with her saying no to everything she needs to do? Should I just say it calmly, make it as fun as possible but battle through even if she's resisting? Or should I do everything I can to stave off the tantrum, even if it means long negotiations and a lot of messing around and wasting time? Everything feels so hard at the moment!

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
TinyMouseTheatre · 05/04/2026 21:41

If it’s only been for two weeks is there anything else going like, like her back molars coming through?

Armo24 · 06/04/2026 10:42

TinyMouseTheatre · 05/04/2026 21:41

If it’s only been for two weeks is there anything else going like, like her back molars coming through?

Good point - she was sick a couple of nights ago and has had diarrhoea - though this change in behaviour predated that perhaps she was starting to feel unwell/not herself. Hopefully it will pass in that case!

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JoJoUK29 · 09/04/2026 19:52

Hi! I agree with above post, it is common and could be teeth or feeling unwell. However, if it continues, please feel free to ask out for more help- tantrums and meltdowns are my area of expertise and happy to help guide you with how to respond x Hope she feels better!

Jo🙂

Armo24 · 10/04/2026 11:26

Thank you! She is better thanks (it's me with the stomach bug now :(). But wild scenes at bedtime last night and coming downstairs this morning. Full-on tantrums, biting, almost like hyperventilating she was so angry because 1) I took her clothes off for the bath (we tried to put her in but she was just contorting with rage so dramatically that we ended up not being able to as it would've been too dangerous), and 2) I wouldn't put my dressing gown on this morning when she instructed me to (context: I had to go to take her to nursery!). After nearly two years of having such a delightful baby/toddler, I just feel like I have no idea what I'm doing all over again!

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