Hitting other kids whilst making sure I'm looking at her!!

[Rocio]

Every time I arrive in nursery to pick my 22 month old daughter up she starts hitting other children. She always does this making sure I'm looking at her and seeing what she's doing. I can't work it out at all, we don't hit and she gets plenty of attention. Any ideas as to why she's doing this?!

Many thanks

22 months - that's nearly two, isn't it? She's testing the boundaries of acceptable behaviour as all toddlers do - and they don't half pick their moments. (My youngest did at school pick up time, just when everyone could witness it.) She is also asserting her will aggressively over the other children and over you. I'd nip this in the bud - go 'Supernanny'.

Children feel secure if they have boundaries and a parent who stands their ground. Believe me, the other parents will notice and it does no good to have tongues wagging about your otherwise perfectly nice girl. Good Luck!

Yes, you need to nip it in the bud fast as she is trying to see if you will stop her.
With both my DDs i've come down like a ton of bricks the moment they do anything like this and they've never tried it again.
You need to tell her firmly "No!" and take her away from the other child.
Basically, show your disaproval then remove from source of conflict.
She just wants to know that you are giving her boundaries. Children need them to feel secure.

Hi there!

Many thanks for your messages. Every time she does this, I stop her from hitting the other child and tell her: No, it is not nice and that we don't hit other children/people etc. When I tell her this she starts crying like crazy but I still tell her not to do it. Next day, she'll be back doing exactly the same, day after day after day. She knows it's wrong as I've always been consistent with it so I'm at lost as to what to do next...

Hello again,

Busy day - lots of errands etc.

It sounds as though she's got into a routine with this behaviour and two year olds are real creatures of habit, I'm afraid.

One thing worth trying is some really strong positive reinforcement - especially if you can surprise her by arriving early and catch her unawares with a ,
'Oh

DD went through something similar, but it only lasted a week or so and it wasn't at nursery - it was at home. She would saunter over to the cat, wait until I was watching, smile sweetly and say, "kick" and kick the poor cat or stamp on his tail. A few trips to the naughty step were taken that week.

So, no useful advice, but lots of empathy - you are not alone. My councillor says to me that, "children are sent to teach us" but I've yet to figure out what they're trying to teach with this trick.

Hi again, many thanks again for the advice. I will try out the positive reinforcement and hope for the best. It's a shame she's behaving like that as she's such a bright girl. I'll keep you updated!!

Hi there, I thought I'd let you how it went yesterday. As soon as she saw me coming down the stairs I started making lots of positive (and crazy)noise, clapping and talking to her in a very excited voice... I think it took her off guard as she did not even attempt to hit other kids and was clapping along with me! Let's see how it goes but at least it's an improvement. Many thanks for your help.

Result ! That's great news.