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Behaviour/development

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Clarity

4 replies

66babe · 31/03/2026 08:20

I am hoping for some clarity as to the actual process of a child with very obvious additional needs being seen , assessed, diagnosed and supported
My grandson was “referred” at 2 years of age by a health visitor , then nursery “sent a referral” the year after . Seen by GP numerous times , a few professionals ( not sure who or from where ) came in to observe him in class ….. no outcome , nothing
My beautiful grandson is now 6 years of age , permanently excluded from school, hurting himself , his mum and his sister , sleeps approx 2 hours a night , is hyper all the waking hours , eating too much , totally unaware of any consequences of his actions , no empathy at all for hurting another person , has to be supervised 24hrs a day due to risk of harm , escape or general disruption, refuses to wear clothes , every single thing is a battle and I’m ashamed to admit they just had to have a pet rehomed as he hurt them too . In our own research and support groups found , it’s most likely he has ADHD, ASD and PDA
I’m not even sure we have been referred to the right service .. how is this right 4 years later , this child is missing out on all of these early year development that is crucial , the effect on the family is horrendous and if there was a goal , a plan that we can see us reaching we’d feel so much better
We love this boy so much but are heartbroken as to how we feel abandoned and uncertain as to how we support him best when we are making it up as we go along , trying to discipline within his level of understanding , keep him safe and happy while managing his violence , aggression and very poor coping skills
Could anyone tell me please yeh exact process of what should have happened, where would he be referred to , is that NHS paediatric, is it paediatric MH ?
Thank you , sorry that was long .

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1995SENNDMUM · 31/03/2026 14:00

It's usually the NHS community paediatrician at that age but every area is different. They need to confirm where the referral was sent to first and then call them to find out what's going on.
Also the council needs to be providing an education since they ve been excluded, the lack of a diagnosis yet shouldn't have stopped things being put into place at school (the NHS usually diagnoses and discharges so it wouldn't necessarily have given a plan at all just answers really).

66babe · 31/03/2026 18:09

Yes , thank you
He has been offered a place at a PRU 16 miles away but was declined transport due to violence on day one on the bus .. 5 years of age and refusing to sit down and keep belt on and not kick other students
She cannot get him there on public transport and have the other child to school at the same times
I work full time and live an hour away

OP posts:
1995SENNDMUM · 31/03/2026 18:12

66babe · 31/03/2026 18:09

Yes , thank you
He has been offered a place at a PRU 16 miles away but was declined transport due to violence on day one on the bus .. 5 years of age and refusing to sit down and keep belt on and not kick other students
She cannot get him there on public transport and have the other child to school at the same times
I work full time and live an hour away

Did the council then not offer something like a creiling harness and a 1:1 passenger assistant in a taxi rather than being with other children?

66babe · 31/03/2026 18:13

No , they’ve said that his EHCP decision will be by end of April and then we can apply for more appropriate schools , hopefully local .

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