I joined mumsnet because I feel I don’t have anyone to talk to or confidently confide in. I am a worrier myself and feel as though my mental health is now taking a decline.
My little one is just over 4.5 months old, up until now I’ve felt so happy and excited, but I feel like I’ve now become almost obsessed with milestones and comparing my baby to others. He has been such a perfect baby, and still is, rarely cried apart from any discomfort, over tiredness or hungry. He comes across as a content baby, because when we’re out he’s constantly looking around and watching what people are doing. Sometimes he smiles to strangers, often he doesn’t.
He socially smiled between 6-8 weeks and through 2-3 months was so happy in the mornings, but ever since about 4 months it’s tough work trying to guarantee a smile out of him, unless you blow raspberries or something. I’ve also noticed his eye contact a lot more, with strangers he will make contact, sometimes after a few seconds, look at something else that’s caught his eye. The same for me, when holding him he rarely makes eye contact and when he does it is maintained, the times he maintains eye contact is when he is in his bouncer, but again is that because he doesn’t have anything else to look at etc.
Reading online, one website starts if your baby is not actively seeking your eye contact between 4-6 months to seek advice.
He has hit other milestones, and does laugh, but again, this is like getting blood out of a stone. I’m just becoming obsessed with the comparing I now feel like my mental health is declining, and I’m now becoming anxious when my partner goes to work because when it’s just me and my little one, I’m so determined to get this eye contact, smiles, and laughs rather than enjoy him.
Even feeding, sometimes he will make eye contact, but is this because he’s tired? Often looking elsewhere.
I’m doubting myself as a mum, am I doing enough? Am I engaging with him enough, playing with the right toys, saying the right things?