Aggressive attacks from autistic children

[Frazzledmomma123]

My DD has suffered at the hands of a couple of autistic children who have physically attacked her in and outside school. Every time it’s brushed over as they can’t help it and she needs to be better at recognising when they are not in the mood to talk and she’s lost confidence because she thinks it’s her fault and she should just take the beating! I’ve obviously not signed up to this ridiculous nonsense but at what point is it these kids will be disciplined or receive consequences? Are we heading for a society where they can hurt, attack or even worse but receive no punishment because they are autistic? I sympathise that they don’t have the same understanding but it’s becoming dangerous and we’re teaching victim blaming and victim guilt. I’m scared she’s going to get really hurt. All the parents of these children I’ve met don’t shout, pull them up or give any kind of consequences or even try to explain to them? Just to note these kids are all only slightly on the spectrum and in the company of other grown ups they behave perfectly well until parents or senco are in attendance where they almost become worse like playing up to it. Why is my child not entitled to a safe environment but they are entitled to everything despite their behaviour. What’s going to keep our children safe. Ages are DD 6 and super friendly, SEN kids range 6-10

Some more context is needed. My son goes to nursery with two children who have additional needs, both are non verbal, lovely, bright children but never have either of them hurt my son to my knowledge. How is the educational setting allowing this to happen?

None of these children are non verbal they are all in mainstream. Characteristics are refusal to listen, some ocd type behaviour, sudden and aggressive outbursts including flipping tables, chairs etc. running off, screaming and swearing, massive meltdowns and refusing to do as told. Grabbing pushing kicking and general nasty comments. SEN helpers in classrooms one to one but often on the receiving end of the behaviour. When I have shouted at them (I know it’s a no no!) they have stopped the behaviour and listened without issue. (I’ve helped at school and friends outside of school with one parent) all of the kids are bright and seem to have complete understanding of wrong and right but the autistic label seems to entitle them to receiving no discipline of any sort which is what baffles me because they seem perfectly capable of behaving properly when given proper boundaries but everyone around them seems to not want to put normal limits in place?

Personally I don’t shout at my son but I raise my voice and lower my tone and change my facial expression so he knows I’m not playing. Sorry I’m not much help but his nursery also seem completely inept at handling his behaviour and I had to collect him the other day because he put rice on another child’s head (he is not ND to our knowledge) but other kids in the class are. The education system has gone mad if they are allowed to teach numeracy and literacy but not allowed to inforce right from fucking wrong. I don’t know what the answer is but to complain.

Surely schools have to have more robust behavioural plans in place?

I think they do have plans in place but I think these plans are the problem. They seem written by people only interested in providing for the SEN children with no consideration for the other children in the class. Any criticism of ND children and their behaviour is met with abuse, dismissal and the standard “they don’t understand consequences” so others are just expected to put up and shut up and never question. Victims of the abuse or behaviour are victim blamed and made to feel they are in the wrong. Where the hell is this going? What kind of society are we going to end up with?