Asymmetric development in 6 year old?

[Marylou47a]

My son is 6, in year 2, but August baby so one of the youngest in his year. Despite being nearly a year behind kids in his class he is very bright, is one of the top at maths, is one of the few free readers and in his last report got working beyond expectations across all academic type subjects. He’s always had a great memory, started talking very early, picks things up very easily. So academic side of things he is doing great on.

then in so many other ways he’s still like a toddler almost. He still has a lot of toilet accidents (both types), puts all of his clothes and shoes on backwards, has some proper emotional meltdowns, puts lots of things in his mouth/licks things, his handwriting is all over the place and the way he forms letters is totally bizarre.

i think there is some sensory processing issues which might be affecting a lot of this- he seems very hypo sensitive/ sensory seeking.

my question is, is this kind of asymmetric development normal? It honestly feels like one part of his brain has gone hell for leather in learning, and the other half go left way behind in nursery or something 😅

I looked into it and the only real reference I could find to this kind of thing is in neuro diverse kids. We did an autism checklist as requested by school last year due to his toileting problems and defiance- refused to go to the toilet even when he had done a poo and was told to by his teacher 😵‍💫 but he didn’t score very high and with his language and speaking early it didn’t seem to line up.

so is this something that will just shake out, or is his brain wired differently? I keep waiting for him to grow out of these things and it just never quite happens! Anyone experienced anything like this?

I would ask again to be assessed by the School SENCO.

They should know that talking early can be a sign of ASD not preclude it.

Have a read up on Hyperlexia before you speak to them again. If he’s defiant I would also read up on PDA.

It might also be worth doing this simple progress checker before you speak to the SENCO.

Have you applied for an ECHP Assessment yet?

I'd echo @TinyMouseTheatre – this sort of split in profile can absolutely be reflective of ASD or something similar, and I would want him properly assessed.

In terms of toileting, if he tends to be hyposensitive, it is possible he genuinely doesn't feel the signals in the same way most children do. For some children in that situation, it works better to go as part of the routine – toilet on waking up, at morning break, after lunch, and so on.

More broadly, does he get any sensory support or interventions? Sensory circuits, fidget toys, wobble cushion, kick bands, chewy necklace, anything like that? He may find things easier if you and school can keep him topped on the sort of sensory input he needs.