Anxious after 27 month health visitor appointment

[Littleanxious]

I'm a sahm to my DD who is 27 months and today we had our check up with the health visitor. In general the health visitor seemed positive and said she had no concerns over my DD's development but noted that she didn't respond when she called her name a couple of times. We were in a room filled with new toys and my DD was very engrossed in playing. She also noted how my DD didn't turn round to the sound of another family who were being assessed behind us and talking/playing and how that was unusual.

I've taken DD to busy baby/toddler groups since she was 6 weeks old and so she's very used to busy environments with lots of children and adults playing/talking around her. I'd never really thought it was a problem that she stays focussed on her own activity in these types of enviroments but now I'm worrying. The health visitor said just to keep an eye on it and that if I felt it was necessary we could have her referred for hearing/speech assessment.

She's a chatty little girl and says lots of 3/4 word phrases, but her pronunciation on some words is still a little wrong (e.g. she calls milk 'whip' and can't yet pronounce her own name properly). I'd thought all of this was normal but now I'm worrying it's not. The health visitor reassured me that she's not worried about her but just to keep an eye on it. She also said how she thinks she will benefit from starting preschool later this year (she's due to start in September).

I don't know if I'm just getting myself worried about nothing but I'm scared now I've missed some massive issues and I should have been doing more to improve her pronunciation and make sure she can definitely hear things around her. I really do try my best with her and we go out to lots of groups, read loads of books and she likes to get involved with all the household activities (doing laundry, washing up, cooking dinner etc). I always try to narrate what I'm doing and I feel like her vocabulary is quite varied. Other parents mention how chatty and confident she is and I really thought she was doing well but now I feel like I've let her down somehow.

I'm currently in the trenches of first trimester with my next little one so am feeling a bit more emotional than normal. Don't know if I'm just being over sensitive or if I have missed something massively important with DD. Feel like I'm doing a rubbish job and wish I could be better for DD.

Don’t feel bad! I totally missed hearing loss in our eldest and it was only a teacher who suggested a hearing test that got it flagged- I thought he just chose not to listen sometimes!

if you are worried then you could take her to GP and ask them if they can refer for a hearing test/ENT referral? If it is hearing related then it’s worth picking it up early particularly for speech. Luckily my eldest didn’t have any problems with speech but he does now have a hearing aid for mild hearing loss in one ear. If there is a problem then there will be interventions to help and you will be surprised how resilient kids are- apart from the bright red headband that my sons hearing aid sits on, you wouldn’t notice that he has a hearing problem!

Thank you so much for your reply @Marylou47a. I guess I just feel really upset with myself that I've potentially missed something as important as this. I truly thought she was developing well and her occasional ignoring of me was just her being a two year old! She notices sounds outside (even when we are inside and the windows are closed) like motorbikes and aeroplanes and comments on them, but I guess that doesn't necessarily mean much. How did you find the process of your son's assessment?

The thing with hearing difficulties is that it often doesn't affect all sound frequencies equally – so she may be able to hear the low rumbling of a motorbike, but struggle with some of higher pitches used for speech, for example.

Lots of toddler pronunciations is absolutely normal at this age, but the example you give is a little unusual. 'm' is usually a sound they get early, and 'k' is more often substituted with with 't' or 'd' rather than 'p', so 'milk' would commonly become 'mit' or 'mid' (they usually drop the 'l' entirely).

Taking it all together, I would say it's worth asking for a hearing test. In some places you can self-refer, in others you might need to go through the HV or GP.

Thanks for your reply @skkyelark - that's interesting and I hadn't considered that (goes to show how little I know about hearing!).

She does make an 'm' sound for lots of other words (e.g. 'mummy', 'much', 'more' etc) so I guess I just thought her pronunciation of milk was a quirk she would grow out of.

I'll get in touch with the HV and ask for a referral. It's been playing on my mind since Tuesday and I know it's better to get these things checked out, even if it is just to rule out any issues rather than necessarily finding any.

If she uses 'm' in other words, it may well just be a random toddler quirk, but as you say, best to get checked even if it's only to rule out any issues.

I also found with both of mine that words they learnt early and used often kept their baby approximations a bit longer, as they'd got into the habit of saying it that way, so there could be an element of that as well. Milk is a pretty important word for a lot of young toddlers!