Has my litte angel disappeared for ever?! 22 months and impossible overnight...

[Pinchypants]

I know this isn't exactly an original topic but I just need to download and get yet more reassurance that this is all normal and It Too Will Pass.

My DD is 22 months old and it feels like more or less overnight she has turned from a sunny, cheerful, busy little girl who communicates beautifully and is sociable and adaptable, into an utter horror at times. You know the score - everything is 'no', tiny battles over EVERYTHING, physical resistance, shouting and crying when things don't go exactly her own way (she actually went purple in the back of the car yesterday when I didn't put the Charlie and Lola music CD immediately. I buckled...), wanting mummy and then not wanting mummy at all anywhere near her. It's all very confusing - as I'm sure it must be for her going through such a massive phase of establishing boundaries and her own identity.

And her daytime naps, hitherto like clockwork after lunch, have gone completely tits-up so she is overtired constantly, which I'm sure does not help.

I am trying to continue being patient and gentle yet firm, but tis so hard when I am knackered and number two is due in nine weeks (no coincidence, huh?). Apparently she's absolutely brilliant when at nursery four mornings a week, which is reassuring yet a tiny bit more frustrating because it really is only me she is like this with. Good as gold for daddy, too.

Any similar experiences to share? Any really good books/bits of advice?

yep - same here - wonderful, easy baby who became a terror at around 18-20 months (now 2.3 and everything is wrong, constantly. I can't put a foot right.

no advice really. i think a lot of it is just waiting it out and knowing it will pass. I have heard a lot of MNers saying 'he/she was fine at 2 but now they're 3 the nightmare has started'. so hopefully the opposite will be true for us?!

Repeat calmly this is a phase, this too will pass.

AS for books - I quite like Toddler Taming by Christopher Green as it is good at reassureing you that your childs behaviour is normal. It also helps you see what is a problem and what is not.

I think you've just witnessed your daughter enter the 'terrible twos'. If it's any reassurance, exactly the same thing happened to my ds1 at around 21 to 22 months (and I was, like you, around 7 months pregnant at the time). I'm sure he was picking up on the pregnancy vibes etc, which didn't help.
Basically, he's never gone back to being that angelic pre-21 month old toddler, but he's a LOT better than he was at 22 months. He's 2.4 now.
Good luck! Distraction, distraction, distraction. If you have the energy this usually works better than anything else I've tried. But it's not easy when you're feeling huge and exhausted in late pregnancy, I know...

Thanks ladies, that is reassuring. I have heard Christopher Green is good to have on standby so have ordered myself a copy. The hardest thing is knowing that after a tough first few months, I have just had a year or so of feeling that I really can do this, that I am a good enough mummy to my little girl and everything has been going relatively smoothly and she is happy, and then it all changes and will continue to be different now every few months/years forever.

I'm not at all nostalgic for the tiny baby phase, but I did love early toddlerhood immensely! And really, all I want is for her to be happy and secure, and it is becoming clear that this is the real challenge of parenting, especially when I'm about to introduce The Sibling...