Hi all, I could really do with some perspective on this.
My DD is 9 and has had a really tough time socially since starting a new school 3 years ago. She doesn’t really have friends in her class – there’s only one child who will spend time with her, and that relationship can be quite unkind at times.
We genuinely don’t understand why she seems to be so disliked. We’ve worked closely with the school, she’s had play therapy, and every professional involved describes her as kind, funny, bright and a genuinely lovely little girl.
We see her with other children (cousins, friends’ kids, etc.) and she interacts absolutely fine. She’s maybe a bit quirky, but nothing outside the range of normal 9-year-old behaviour.
She does have ADHD and possibly autism, and we suspect she masks heavily at school.
We are considering moving her school, but are really worried about putting her through that if the same issues happen again. Before we make any decisions, we feel we really need to understand what’s going on socially.
This absolutely comes from a place of love – we are not trying to change who she is, but she is increasingly sad and confused, and so are we. She keeps asking what she’s doing “wrong” and we just don’t have answers.
We do know from other parents in the class that this is not generally a nice cohort; very sassy, very dramatic, but surely it can't just be 'herd mentality' can it?
Has anyone been in a similar situation? How on earth do you find out why your child is being excluded or disliked when no one can seem to give you a clear answer?
Any thoughts or experiences very welcome.