Oh dear, DS has had his first actual punishment today.

[madamez]

He is 3.9 and generally a lovely little boy (OK sometimes misbehaves or won't do what he's told but no big deal). But he pushed other kids at playgroup. I gave him two warnings that I would take him home if he didn't stop pushing: he shoved another kid so I told him we were going home because he had been naughty and he had been told already not to do it. He howled and howled, the playgroup organisers and other mums were all saying, what's wrong and I just said, DS is being naughty so he has to go home.
When he stopped howling I expllained that it's not nice to push other children and that I had told him he would have to go home if he didn't stop, I think he's unerstood.

Am I an evil strict mother or being a total wuss to feel sad about it..

you did exactly as I would have done Madamez but you can't help feeling a little sad about it. Don't worry I'm sure he's a bright thing and it won't take him very long to realise the consequences for pushing.

you did well to stick to what you'd said. it is hard but as ingles says he wont take long to realise he musnt do it. on the other hand if you didnt follow through with what you said he wouldnt learn to not do it iyswim

I threatened DS with this a couple of weeks back because of hitting.

I told him that if he hit anyone they would not want to be his friend any more and that he would not be able to go to nursery because no one would like him or want to play with him.

He's 2+10.

and you feel mean?! you're a pussycat compared to me!!!! (he hasnt hit anyone since though....[smug emoticon]

It's vital that you are consistent with punishments.

If you say you're going to do something if the child is naughty, and the child is then naughty, you have to follow through.

Of course it will make you sad at first, but it is important for your childs' development that they begin to learn about consequences.

Great job. Consistency is the key to everything IMHO. It's natural to feel sad though, but it makes you a better mum.
(My pet hate is mums standing at the edge of the playground whining "we have to go home now" for half an hour. If it's time to go home, then og ffs!)

Or even go

You are being a wuss but that probably just makes you about normal. If you actually took some pleasure from DS being unhappy at being punished then people might start asking questions!

i think if i was the mother of a kid that had been pushed - i would be glad you took the stance you did

Message withdrawn

You definitely did the right thing - I remember having to do the same thing with mine!

Pretty impressed you got to 3.7 years for first actual punishment, though. Much much earlier in the procrastinating house ... we obviously have naughtier behaviour.

Well previously any naughtiness has been things like, not going upstairs, not coming when called or messing about with food etc so I just put him where he is supposed to be (ie carry him firmly upstairs in a slightly different position to the way I carry him when he's tied and I'm cuddling him) - this was the first time I had to follow through a threat.... Oh well, hopefully he will have learned from it...

Arrgh! SOmeone has exchanged my lovely son for a 3-year-old MONSTER! Roof-lifting tantrum at bathtime tonight because he didn't want a bath, protested he wanted to go to sleep, so I sponged him down and lifted him out, at which point he started roaring to get back in the bath. I said no, because he had not wanted a bath and he was clean now. Cue about 20 minutes of shrieking - now I know some people would say pick your battles but I cn't let him get his own way by roaring and screaming.....