Hand hold needed - extremely tired mum of 2

[chasinghilltops]

Hi everyone.

I just need to vent. I have two amazing kids, ages 6 months and 2. They are my world but I’m finding it really hard just now.

6 month old DS has CMPA and only sleeps on our chest. So I’m getting about 3 hours broken sleep a night. It means I don’t have the energy, patience, head space to deal with anything the next day.

2 year old DS is loving, caring, an amazing big brother. But is really challenging us with behaviour. Cries at literally everything, refusing to eat meals, refusing nappy changes, everything is a meltdown. I feel so guilty that he isn’t getting enough of my time because I’m dealing with the baby or having to share my time between them both. I’m so worried this is where the behaviour is coming from. Although he was defiant before the baby arrived too. I feel like I can’t handle his behaviour as well as I want to because I’m too tired. I’ve shouted at him too which makes me feel like the most awful mum.

on top of it all, he doesn’t nap any more although I think he still needs to. He just outright refuses. I can’t cuddle him in the way he wants because I’ve got the baby so then the nap just won’t happen. He needs a lot of support to get to sleep. I’m so scared this will be detrimental to his development.

I don’t really know what I’m looking for. Just a little hand hold as I feel I have no one to talk to. I don’t want to wish this time away. I absolutely love them being babies but it’s tough right now.

Oh I'm sorry, it sounds tough with two young ones! I have a 16 month old, he requires a lot of support to help sleep (we still cosleep) and hes absolutely thriving, so I wouldnt worry devopmentally.

You sound like youre doing a wonderful job, its natural that sometimes you will raise your voice.

Feel free to PM me anytime, I'm a lone parent and having someone to talk to is always nice! X

I feel your pain. My second son was born when my first was 2.5 and he definitely became a bit more defiant and I think just trying to exert some control. Very fussy with eating / trying to get a proper meal into him is hard! Baby would only sleep on me as well so it’s really really tricky.
Now that the baby is 6 months old we’ve started some gentle sleep training so he’ll nap in his crib a bit. This has helped a lot as he’s also sleeping better at night so we’re all better rested and able to cope with tantruming toddlers!
My toddler has also started to refuse his naps, so I just let him play in his bed for an hour. I think just having some time to rest, even if they don’t sleep, is important. Occasionally he’ll fall asleep for a bit, but most times he lays in his bed playing with teddies or singing. Gives me a bit of a break too.