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Behaviour/development

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Pushing my buttons!

38 replies

booklovinglaura · 17/02/2026 15:56

My little one is 19 months old. He has play pen which he does in at certain times of the day. This is purely because he does not sit still and we find when he is in there he is a lot calmer and will sit in his chair. Recently he has started to throw things out of the play pen and pull up the puzzle mats we have in there. It doesn't matter if we tell him no he carries on doing it and laughs. He's also started pressing every button he can find and again if I tell him no he laughs and carries on. Am I experiencing the terrible twos already. Does anyone have any tips on how to discipline when he has been naughty. Thanks so much

OP posts:
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Bellaunion · 18/02/2026 11:33

Toddlers as well don't get the concept of "wind down" time either. Instead of chilling in out in their play pen, they will be wondering why they are being ignored for such a long period of time.

I am not an intensive parent at all and don't buy this notion some parents have of constantly entertaining their children but I can't get past the notion of sticking such a young child in a play pen for a whole hour. What are you doing for that time OP, is your child just left by themselves?

It astounds me the thinking and lack of comprehension of some people. I can't believe you think pulling up the mats is something that needs disciplined rather than actually being aware your young child is trying to communicate to you and that is they are probably bored and needing connection with you.

BeenzManeenz · 18/02/2026 11:55

booklovinglaura · 17/02/2026 16:20

He absolutely loves his play pen and has been in it since 14 months old. He's in there in the morning after breakfast whilst I get ready for the day and in the evening from 6pm until 7pm when he goes to sleep. He knows this is his chill time ready to unwind before bed. It's worked for 5 months but for the past 2 Nights he's been doing what I mentioned above. Maybe disciplined was the wrong choice of words. But surely at that age he needs to know what he is going is wrong and if he finds 'No' funny. How else are suppose to be teaching him.

Sorry but something that worked at 15 months old will not work now. That's just a fact. Their brains change and develop and need more stimulation.

You still don't seem to be getting it, this is not something for him to change, its something for you to change. Are you going to have him in a playpen when he's 4 years old (rhetorical question, of course you aren't?).

Just because he behaved a certain way months ago, doesn't mean he will now. And I'd caution against you saying he loves it when you have clear evidence to the contrary, he isnt acting up for no reason.

BeenzManeenz · 18/02/2026 11:57

I know as mums we need some time to ourselves but I wouldn't ever be able to ignore my child for 2 hours a day in a playpen. Its not reasonable to do that.

You LO is asking you for connection and stimulation, it breaks my heart that you're seeing this as being naughty when it's anything but. Totally normal behaviour.

Put your child first, they're only little for a short time.

Jan24680 · 18/02/2026 12:35

To be fair she never said he was naughty. I know that it's completely normal toddler behaviour because I know other people with kids the same age. She might not.

Nurseposter123 · 18/02/2026 13:17

I won't add comments about the playpen, previous posters have done this enough - I'm sure you get the hint.

Have you considered involving him in your evening a bit? Maybe watch a Julia Donaldson show on BBC iPlayer curled up together, or get him to help make dinner or do chores with you, honestly at this age they want you more than anything.

MummyWillow1 · 18/02/2026 15:20

He’s asking for attention the only way he knows how.

Play with him or send him to nursery if you don’t want to play with him. A 19month old doesn’t know how to be deliberately naughty, they do not need disciplining. They need to learn by example.

Abd80 · 18/02/2026 15:38

He’s not naughty. He doesn’t need discipline. He’s bored of the pen. He needs out and he needs company and stimulation. It’s not the terrible twos -he’s growing up and this is normal behaviour.
you can’t disciple a child for normal behaviour ?!!

JustAnotherOpinion123 · 18/02/2026 18:23

Jan24680 · 18/02/2026 12:35

To be fair she never said he was naughty. I know that it's completely normal toddler behaviour because I know other people with kids the same age. She might not.

She literally finishes the post saying "...when he's naughty"

Jan24680 · 18/02/2026 18:33

JustAnotherOpinion123 · 18/02/2026 18:23

She literally finishes the post saying "...when he's naughty"

They do, selective reading on my part. Obviously too young to be naughty. Test boundaries perhaps, but not naughty.

GreenHuia · 18/02/2026 19:54

This is why I think FREE parenting classes should be available and encouraged, covering all ages. Absolutely not a criticism of you OP - we don't know what we don't know! Having genuine experts who understand child development helping parents, giving them the chance to ask specific questions, offering support with specific situations and being up-to-date with what works (as opposed to taking advice from well-meaning older relatives for example) could make a lot of difference to so many families.

Play1tAgainSam · 18/02/2026 21:36

booklovinglaura · 17/02/2026 15:56

My little one is 19 months old. He has play pen which he does in at certain times of the day. This is purely because he does not sit still and we find when he is in there he is a lot calmer and will sit in his chair. Recently he has started to throw things out of the play pen and pull up the puzzle mats we have in there. It doesn't matter if we tell him no he carries on doing it and laughs. He's also started pressing every button he can find and again if I tell him no he laughs and carries on. Am I experiencing the terrible twos already. Does anyone have any tips on how to discipline when he has been naughty. Thanks so much

I’m not going to comment on whether he should be in a playpen or not at his age and for how long, I’m leaving that to your judgment as a parent.

As for the behaviour and the ‘no’ not working, I’ve found with both of mine - and there’s research showing this - that ‘no’ rarely works with little ones. Mostly because they so often put themselves in situations where you have to use the word ‘no’ that it eventually loses all meaning.

It also doesn’t tell them what you want them to do instead. The way their brain works at this age is that they need clear instructions. You saying ‘no’ doesn’t achieve that. What I would do instead is focus on the result you want: let’s leave the mats in the playpen, that’s where they’re supposed to be. Let’s keep the toys in the playpen so it’s easier to get them when we want to play with them. Let’s leave the buttons, they are not meant to be pushed all the time. If he keeps throwing toys for example you can calmly remove them and say ‘I can’t let you throw the toys, you might hurt someone/break something’. If he cries and you give him the toys back always explain before giving them back: ‘I can put them back, but you have to leave them in the playpen’.

And always repeat the positive rather than the negative. It gives them a clear instruction of what you want to happen and it doesn’t repeat the word ‘no’ or ‘don’t’ so much that it doesn’t mean anything to them anymore. ‘Leave’ rather than ‘don’t throw/push/pull’.

And most importantly, as hard as this may be most of the time, do all of this without emotion and reaction. You reacting is also something that will make them want to do whatever they’re doing even more. Stay calm and focus on the actions you want to see.

Hope you find this helpful!

weusedtobeapropercountry · 18/02/2026 23:29

His behaviour is normal for his age. He's exploring.

Labelling him naughty now will set you both up for misery down the line. He needs stimulation, and if you don't want to provide that, fine, I'm not big on treating little kids like Caligula either, but in that case at least let the lad entertain himself in the playpen. He's not harming anything, and he seems to be enjoying himself, so let him. If it's something that could be damaged by him, then it doesn't belong in there, take it out and replace it.

In any case, he WILL get bored of that eventually and start looking for other things to occupy him. You might have to rotate the toys in the pen to keep him interested. He will love some sensory play. Strap him into his high chair and let him make a mess on the tray with jelly or playdoh or something. And don't try to make him play "correctly" - set it up to be safe and let him be creative.

Talkingdonut · 20/02/2026 08:21

He's not naughty he's a baby! You can't expect a baby that age to sit quietly in a chair or to amuse themselves.

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