Is this child Sen? What should I do?

[roileydoiley]

I know Mumsnet can’t diagnose of course. But I’d appreciate any wisdom on what is going on with DD’s friend. Both aged 9. We are next door neighbours and very friendly as families (we’ve been on holiday together).

aged about 2 this girl suddenly stopped speaking, and since then has had a bad stutter and difficulties finding her words at times.

She is extremely emotional, lots of meltdowns at home and at school pick up, nearly always aimed at her mum not her dad (both very loving, gentle parents). Academically ok, and absolutely wonderful at art, issues flagged by school are possible dyslexia and very low attainment in maths.

DD loves her a great deal and they are very close, inseparable at school and knock for each other most days. They want to stay friends.

DD finds her very overbearing though. She’s extremely possessive and physically demanding - always trying to hold hands and cuddle and often getting very silly and overexcited and grabbing DD and squeezing her round her ribs or middle in a way that DD finds awful.

She is upset if DD plays with any other child and refuses to play in a group of 3 or more.

DD feels very controlled and touched out. If she confronts this girl she cries so DD always backs down.

I don’t know what to do or advise. It doesn’t feel right but I don’t know how much this child is fully in control of her emotions. I don’t know if she’ll grow out of these difficulties or if I should help DD to distance a little.

I cannot raise with the parents, they are devastated by the emotional difficulties and say that the school have mentioned neurodivergence as a possibility but they don’t agree and no diagnosis has been sought.

I don’t think it matters of you think she has ND or not. What does matter is that your DD is uncomfortable and it sounds as though she’s asking for your support in how to distance herself?

Does your DD have any other friends at school? Could you do a bit of engineering and invite a different child to tea?

Does your DD do any out of school activities without NDN?

My 5 year old is so hard to handle she has always been like this since the age of 2 but I don’t see any behaviour improvement. She still cries as loud as she can and everyday over little things , when she gets what she wants she will ask for something else as soon as she gets it , she never stops . I’ve tried to keep a firm and stable tone and not give her always what she wants , trying not to yell so she want copy my behaviour but it doesn’t work . I feel so exhausted all the time I don’t know what else to do … we also have neighbours below us who always complain about her running and stomping so I have also to think of that when she’s upset and things don’t go her way. This is draining me her loud voice screaming crying everyday is just too much and I have headaches and at the same time having to take care of a baby.

Is she in school @Lize90? Hiw does she cope there?