I am hoping someone has some advice. My daughter will be 4 in May. I appreciate that she is still young however, I have ongoing concerns about her emotional regulation, behaviour, and sensory sensitivities, which appear to be becoming more noticeable as she gets older. I wonder if she is showing some signs of being neurodivergent.
At home, she experiences very intense emotional outbursts which can escalate rapidly from calm to extremely distressed. During these episodes she may shout, scream, throw objects (toys, food, or items she is using), and occasionally lash out impulsively.
These meltdowns can last up to 30 minutes and are not easily soothed. Once she reaches this point, it is not possible to reason with or distract her, and attempts to intervene often escalate the situation. The only effective approach is to ensure her safety and allow the episode to pass. She is often completely exhausted afterwards and sometimes falls asleep once she has calmed down.
Triggers can be very minor and disproportionate to her reaction, suggesting she struggles to regulate or process frustration once overwhelmed. Some days are significantly worse than others. It almost like she always in defence mode.
She appears to be constantly hungry and becomes noticeably calmer for a short period after eating. We maintain clear boundaries around snacks as she can’t have constant supply of snacks, but refusing additional food can lead to further meltdowns.
Sleep is also challenging. She does not sleep through the night and frequently wakes upset. She becomes extremely distressed if encouraged to return to her own bed and will only settle if she sleeps with an adult, at which point she sleeps well. This appears linked to a strong need for reassurance and safety.
She is very bright and has advanced speech and vocabulary for her age. She talks constantly and often speaks much louder than others, needing frequent reminders to lower her voice often having to remind her to have her indoor voice. She enjoys imaginative play and can engage in it for extended periods.
She also shows sensory sensitivities, particularly around:
- Restrictive clothing (e.g. thick coats)
- Being restricted(car seat straps often cause extreme distress and rage)
- Loud or sudden noises (e.g. hand dryers in public toilets, which she has developed a strong fear of and will actively avoid)
- Certain smells
- Petrified of water. Swimming is a massive issue her teacher thinks it’s a lack of control when she comes off the steps. She’s fine in the bath until she has to have her hair washed however has become a lot better in recent weeks.
She attends preschool 3 days a week, where staff report that they do not observe the same behaviours that occur at home. It often feels as though she holds things together outside the home and releases her emotions once she is with me, which can be very challenging and exhausting for the entire household but understand that I am her safety net where she can let these emotions out.
Any advice would be very much appreciated from anyone who experiences similar. Thanks