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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

What punishment is suitable for my daughter ?

16 replies

mummyloveslucy · 14/06/2008 14:30

My 3 year old daughter has been potty traind for 4 months and hardly ever has an accident with her "wee-wee's" but she constantly pooh's herself. She hardly ever does it on the toilet. It is really anoying as she knows that she should do it in the toilet and she also knows when she needs to go.
I just wondered what punishment i should use when she does it, as I've tried ignoring it, talking to her about it ect and feel that now she needs some sort of punishment to make her realise that it's not in her best interest to do this.
I be really greatfull for any advice.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

WillburyNibbleQC · 14/06/2008 14:32

I wouldn't punish any toilet training issue.

LIZS · 14/06/2008 14:35

agree - reward the positive usign stickers or buttons.

Original poster

mummyloveslucy · 14/06/2008 14:36

Ia just don't know what else to do. I think it is a behavural issue as well.

OP posts:

thisisyesterday · 14/06/2008 14:36

agree with willbury, I would not be punishing her at all.
gentle encouragement, and reminders of where the toilet is should work,.

don't go on and on at her. I made this mistake with ds. and as soon as I stopped nagging him about the toilet he started using it fine

WillburyNibbleQC · 14/06/2008 14:36

Lots of positive praise.
"Lovely pants for clever girls".

Original poster

mummyloveslucy · 14/06/2008 14:40

Thanks, the sucsesses are so few and far between that it wouldn't happen very often. What about when she does it in her knickers though?

OP posts:

Twiglett · 14/06/2008 14:40

has she ever got pooing in the toilet? because if she hasn't then she isn't potty trained really .. sorry

it's developmental

you need to teach her to poo in the toilet as well as wee .. and by reward not punishment

if she used to do it consistently and regressed, again that's developmental, DS did this .. most annoying ... at the end of my tether I popped him back in a nappy for a day and did the every half hour and choc button if succesful approach

DarthVader · 14/06/2008 14:43

Discuss with her what will be a good reward for using the toilet but I think it is best to use positive methods not punishments - 3 is very young.

catrin · 14/06/2008 14:43

We have been having this for about 5 months now (dd 2.8) but last 2 days has been on the potty for a poo. I think she has just figured out that she knows when she needs to - before that, I think it shocked her whenever she went. We didn't (outwardly) get cross at all, although it was v wearing, but did behave like a cheerleadign team if she ever went on the potty.

Mungarra · 14/06/2008 14:45

I agree with the others. She is learning how to do it and punishing would be counter-productive. It's not unusual for kids to be able to do wees but take longer to get the hang of pooing in the potty. Give her stickers or something as a reward.

Original poster

mummyloveslucy · 14/06/2008 14:48

The times she has done it on the toilet are when I've seen her going red in the face and have rushed her there just in time.
Somtimes she will go for a wee and then seconds later will poo herself.
It is just sooo anoying and I worry that her teacher in September is quite strict and I don't know what she will make of this.

OP posts:

Klaw · 14/06/2008 14:50

Oh I remember the stage my dd went though.... Would stand in a corner trying to hide so that she could just poo in her pants, when she knew that she should do it in the toilet... Extremely frustrating!!

The thing that 'worked' was Smarties! I told her that she would get at least two Smarties every time she poo'd in the potty or the toilet. And also got a potty sticker chart. So every time she did a poo that was not in the favoured recepticles I would refuse her any Smarties and remind her that she would get them next time if she managed it. I did not get angry every time it didn't work (very hard not to but you have to show indifference to the poo in the pants) but would just say we'd try again next time. It didn't work at first, we kept at it and within a few weeks she was clean as well as dry. After a while we stopped giving the Smarties once the tube ran out.

Tis what worked for us

Original poster

mummyloveslucy · 14/06/2008 14:53

Thanks, good idea I will try that.

OP posts:

Twiglett · 14/06/2008 14:56

I'd say go back to potty training, because she isn't trained yet

so every half hour ask if she needs the loo and take her anyway

praise the actual doing it

chocciedooby · 14/06/2008 15:16

My DS2 is going through this as well.He has been dry for 2 weeks but has only just today started to get the hang of the poo.He is currently sitting on the potty trying to do one.I have been rewarding him with a small winnie the poo organic chocloate from M & S.They sell them in packs of 18 and he loves them.The bog standard chocs just weren't doing it for him.

desperatehousewifetoo · 14/06/2008 21:39

I was going to suggest chocolate buttons too!Worked for my dughter. If she had an accident 'oh dear what a shame, no choc button'. I would also rush her to the loo if she looked as though she needed to go and if successful, she got a button and lots praise for being a big grown up girl. It didn't take long, she was very motivated by chocolate (and still is!

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