Consuming me….

[CPHB2021]

Hi all, wondering if you can help me please. I don’t know if I have just gone down a rabbit hole, and made myself worry over very normal things OR if there is a genuine cause for concern.
I have 3DC, with quite a big gap between 2-3, so I do feel I can’t recall accurately their development.
DS is 17m and not walking yet. My other 2 had started walking long before this, but I thought maybe he was just reliant on being carried by us all etc. I had zero concerns about him until I googled it yesterday. Suddenly I am hours and hours down a rabbit hole and now think he simply must be autistic.
I found the HV 18m review and he barely hits any of the communication or gross motor skills at all, and it’s made me so worried. He is very dexterous and would hit all the ‘staking blocks’ ‘placing things into a bottle’ etc etc.

He doesn’t say much yet ( my older son didn’t either and I literally had zero worries until yesterday ) he can say Mama, Dada, Bubba, Star. That’s it. He babbles a lot and gets very excited about things and will express that in babble but no other words yet. He did say Santa over Xmas but that has stopped ( red flag? )
He can’t walk yet. He can weight bare, walk with a walker or adult, and can take 3-4 steps unaided but no actual walking. He does not walk on tip toes, he walks on his full sole.
He doesn’t mind noises etc but sometimes jumps quite dramatically or cries if I shout to my other kids, not at them but call their names loudly from the kitchen etc, he doesn’t react if I shout at them in the same room- is he just startled by the noise as he’s not expecting it?
He points at things a lot but he does not identify items in books, I.E ‘ where is the dog’ he is not consistent.
He claps his hands to songs, he enjoys other children, particularly his siblings and their friends.
He does respond to his name the vast majority of the time when I say it.
He nods yes and shakes no very well and I think I can understand a lot of what he wants using this method.

It sounds SO dramatic but I am now consumed by everything he is doing, thinking ‘what if he never speaks’ ‘he’s lost the word Santa, what if he looses all his words’ ‘is he having eye contact’ ‘he’s flapping his hands at this song, is he stimming’

There is a huge wait list for HV appointments in my area, so whilst I will reach out, am I blowing this out of proportion?

Thank you if you’ve read any/all of this!

I ll be honest I d be asking about physio for the walking and pushing for a hearing test to rule that out once you get through to the health visitor but they might not do anything about any of your other concerns for a few months yet.

However, as a mum of an autistic child who started realizing when my son was the same age as yours that was likely what was going on.
I d be inclined to say that sounds more like at this point they might have some developmental delays which could be for any reason as there are things you ve said that I would say would go against an autism suggestion at the moment to me.

For example the pointing, responding to their name, using gestures and what you ve mentioned socially sounds more like a language and motor delay than definitely a social communication thing as well at this point.
Losing one word on its own wouldn't worry me too much, losing every word very quickly yes that's a red flag but not what you ve said.

You could do the 18 months ASQ-se and see if there's anything you notice on that as a higher score on that can then make professionals consider an autism assessment referral.

Thank you so much for replying. I managed to get a phone appointment with the HV this afternoon and she said that she had no concerns after quite a lengthy chat. She gave a number of a physio type service that I can self referral if he’s not walking within 6 weeks ( 18.5 months is when they will refer apparently ) I think we will do lots of encouragement at home and try to get more steps in! And the same with speech. His understanding is really good but the words just aren’t there yet so I’m going to try really hard to help him and encourage more words too.

Speech and language UK has a lot of advice on speech, and will do a free advice call (it's an excellent charity). See how you get on over the next few weeks but definitely be cautious with health visitors as some sadly like to "wait and see" for much longer than others would.