When did motherhood start feeling enjoyable for you

[Vim22]

I want to start by saying that I absolutely adore my little girl more than anything in the world. I never knew it was possible to love someone this much. She’s had my whole heart from the moment she was born just over five months ago.

But alongside that love, I’m really struggling — especially when it feels like everyone else in my NCT group is just loving life. She had colic from around five weeks until thirteen weeks, which was incredibly tough. Then we had a couple of slightly easier weeks where I started exercising again, seeing more people and feeling a bit more like myself.

But suddenly around 16–17 weeks, things became really hard again and all of that went out of the window. Everyone says that from four months onwards it gets easier, but I honestly feel like the goalposts just keep moving. I know there’s so much going on developmentally at this age, but it still feels relentless. She wakes up screaming, constantly fights sleep, gets overtired, and is clearly so frustrated that she can’t crawl yet — which leads to a lot of whining. And when I say incessant, I really mean from the moment she wakes up until she goes to sleep, unless she’s actually sleeping.

By the end of each day I feel completely wiped out, like I’ve been in a car crash. I end up showering and going to bed around 9pm, with my husband taking over for a bit, which means I rarely get any real time for myself. It’s taken a huge toll on me both physically and emotionally.

I’m sorry for the rant — I truly don’t mean to sound ungrateful. I have a beautiful, healthy child and a very supportive husband. But this is just really, really hard.

I know a lot is going on for them developmentally at this stage, but did anyone else find months 4 to 6 particularly tough? And for those who’ve been through it, when did it genuinely start to feel easier?

Didn't want to read and run.

I was lucky in the early stages, but I would say that month 4 til 5 and then 6 til 7 were the hardest for me. As you say, learning to crawl was the kicker, he was furious until he made it.

The four months sleep regression also hit hard and he'd only nap 30m x 4 a day. For the rest of it, he was screamingly overtired and needed constant stimulation.

In retrospect, I think he possibly needed to get out for his first nap much sooner in the sling - possibly after just an hour awake. Could you try this? It might set her up better for the rest of the day.

There are also very useful vids on YT about how to support crawling. The frustration vanished overnight when it clicked!

Personally, I found newborn super easy and lovely, then 4 months hit and things went downhill 😂

Hes almost 16 months now, I've been a single parent with little help since 11 months, its tough and I'm finding it difficult, but there are so many lovely moments.

I think everyone finds different stages difficult depending on what kind of baby they have. Mine was an easy newborn, didnt really cry, I could and did take him anywhere and everywhere. However, when he was out of the newborn stage he didnt sleep (still doesnt), he wont sit for more than 0.5 seconds and hes an absolute whirlwind.

I found that the mums who found it super easy at around 4 months with sleep etc are now struggling.

You're definitely not alone. I couldnt get my baby to nap/sleep from 4 months, the only things that worked for us was bouncing him to sleep on an exercise ball. We did that for every single nap and bedtime for like 7 or 8 months, we took it everywhere with us, even to my parents for tea, it was hell. Bedtimes/naps are still difficult for us, but I dont have to bounce anymore, thank goodness!

With my first I only started finding it enjoyable at 6 months when he started sleeping better. We moved him to his own room and a bigger crib, did gentle sleep training and then he started sleeping through the night and had naps in his crib. Not having to spend ages each bedtime / nap time made me feel sooooo much more rested and less stress and made him actually get a proper rest so wasn’t as whiny when awake. He walked at 9 months and then things got really good as he wasn’t frustrated any more.
So I think once their sleep improves and they can move it’s a lot easier (he’s now nearly 3 and it’s definitely a lot harder again for a whole bunch of reasons!)
My second is 5.5 months and we have been in the sleep regression for a few weeks and oh my it’s tough! He’s quite grumpy when awake and will only nap on me. Tricky!