When have you told your dd about periods etc?

[Weegiemum]

My dd1 is 8 and a half. She is a tall girl but thankfully has no evidence of puberty as yet.

I started my periods at 11, and am sure she will be earlier as this is the trend.

Thing is, we are in Scotland and we delayed school entry as we are able to do here (thank goodness!!) so she started school at 5 and a half and is just tarting primary 4 (year3) after the summer. I feel she is quite 'young' for her age and dont want to scare her!! (I was terrified when my mum told me!!!!)

Shoudl I leave it until she develops some other signs such as hair/breasts start to develop etc. Or earlier? Can anyone suggest a good book that I could start by referring her to if I need to , or at least look at myself before I have to explain to her.

I am a bit freaked out by it all, as I had to tell my little sister about all this after my Mum abandoned us when I was 12 and she was 10. I only just did it in time. Mum was so disengaged she just didnt do it.

Want to get it righ tfor my own dds.

I don't know but I'm sure you'll be better at it than my mother, who left it to the school. I learned about sex from my elder sister and friends.

Tell her now. I told DD and then gave her a book about it. She thought the book was really helpful. They all talk about it in the playground anyhow. Better she gets it straight from you rather than some garbled tale. Oh and don't prevaricate.

My DD is the same age as yours, Weegiemum, and is showing the first very faint signs of approaching puberty, so I've bought this but haven't given it to her yet. I had a read through it the other day, and it's very factual, and explains everything extremely clearly, with lots of reassurance that almost anything is normal (iyswim). I've also bought her this and this, and I've given her the babies one, but not the sex one yet. (never knowingly undersupplied with books, me ).

Oh yes - we'd already had a bit of a general chat about it, so it's not as if I'm just leaving it to the books, I just hadn't gone into too many details.

here's the book

I am in the same boat, altho I didn't start that early (dd is 9)

I remember reading a thread where someone recommended a book, but I can't find it now... but maybe search Amazon books for 'growing up' - I think I'll be getting a book

Well done for thinking it through early tho - your mum couldn't look after you and your dsis.

xpost but different books. DD was 8 when I told her btw

I got dd1 that book, quatt.

I meant to tell them when they turned 8. But put it off until they had just turned 9. Personally, I felt that was a good age.

i told mine it was a sign of growing up - and it was such a good thing that when it happens she gets a new outfit.

we went into town and celebrated and she got new clothes head to toe

my mum got books from the library - kinda plonked them on me becuase she didn't want to talk t me about it

i think books are shit in this situation i really do. its not a bad thing, its nothing to be ashamed of - its a good thing.

my kids always knew menstruation or periods existed becuase there are sanitary towels in the bathroom ( some on top of the fridge at the moment) its like shaving foam or shampoo - its another 'thing' that goes in the bathroom.

My mum hid them away behind the boiler FGS! and talked in whispers ( we were the only people in the house)

seriously - can yo see the envoronmkent we can create

my mum - secretive, shameful
me - celebratory - normal ( i hope)

it doesn't need serious talks - it needs unserious talks whilst your cooking tea or washing the pots

IMO

Thankyou! You ladies are wonderful.

I know I am freaked out by the question did I do it ok for my dsis (for many very complicated reasons I am no longer in touch with ehr so cant ask).

I want to make it as natural as possible for her. We are pretty relaxed about nudity etc so she has seen and sees every day adult bodies, and has never asked anything - though as oldet child of a keen breastfeeder she knows ALL about that!

Glad this will be DH's responsibility with ds (age 6, obsessed with his willy!)

have talked it through with dd1 also 8 and a half have always talked about it openly and got her the book whats happening to me a few months ago.
My periods started at 9 and I thought I was dying, really don't want her to go through that.

I just told her when she asked about the box of tampons in the shopping basket.

I think she was about six, and I said something about blood being used to make a nest for a baby inside you, and if you didn't start growing a baby the blood came out to make room for a fresh nest.

She seemed quite happy with that, and I really didn't want her growing up with the impression menstruation is some sort of dirty secret.

I would have told her I think if it had come up naturally but it never has (I'm a mooncup user ... so no sanpro to explain). SHe has up until now not even been interested much in where babies come from - she was very little when her siblings were born, just before she was 2 and a couple of months before she was 4.
I have kind of shrugged off any baby questions to her daddy, as he's a doctor, and she does tend to go to him with amatomical type questions as she knows its him who is supposed to know - I get just about everything else ( you know, Mum, youre a teacher!)

But I do feel that this is something Mum should do. I'll be more aware of opportunities, and if there arent any, try to get a chance to talk to her over the summer holidays.

I'd try to find a way to let it slip naturally into conversation, rather than brace yourself for the Big Talk.