6 year old ds being mean to a reception aged girl - if you were her mum would you be happy with what i have done?

[DrNortherner]

The girls Dad spoke to dh in the playground today. She is very scared of ds and has been crying at home. Ds has been saying he will get her and basically saying mean things.

I really appreciate the fact they spoke to us.

Dh has of course been reprimanded and has privelages removed at home. I also amde him write a letter to the girl in question saying sorry for being nasty which he will give her in the morning.

I will say to the mum I am very sorry, and I hope to have nipped it in the bud. Any more problems and I want her to speak to me.

Can I do any more?

ds has been reprimanded not dh!

That you have done anything at all will show them that you are serious. But then let it be.

I think its great you really care how your child treats other children without being defensive! Well done!

Do you know the Mum?

I think that you have dealt with it very well and these things should be nipped in the bud.

Why did DS pick on her particularly? what did he say in his defense?

Would you invite the girl and her Mum over for coffee/play and see if they do actually get on?

I dont really think you can do more.

If that was my DD I would be happy with your approach. Well done! Can't be nice finding out your DC's are being mean to others

i think you have done as much as you can. i presume that you explained to ds why this behavior is wrong and explained how he made the little girl feel?

No that all sounds great. My dd was being bulliedc and the bully's mum phoned me, I thought to sort it out. Instead I got a mouthful of abuse, lies and threats, and she was a solicitor .

He said he was mean to her for no reason

He knows he has done wrong we have had a big discussion about it.

I know the other mum's face, but other than that I don't know her. Our kids are in different classes and years.

you have done the right thing - hope it gets sorted

You have done the right thing (including not making a huuuuuuuuge drama out of it). Kids do do stuff that's wrong sometimes, because they don't think it through, because they are still learning that other people have feelings etc. Nearly all kids who do the odd mean thing stop once it's been explained to them and grow up into lovely people.

I think that's really decent behaviour DrN. So many people get really defensive at the first hint of criticism of their dc's. Your ds is probably going through a phase of testing out new found confidence and enjoying feeling "powerful" without having any real understanding of how this will affect the child in question.

Having such excellent parents as yourself and your dh it will soon all be sorted.