Over anxious over 5.5 month old

[Travellerintime]

Hello everyone,

First post here. Some advice most welcome.

I have a 3.5 year old dd and a ds, now 5.5 months. I seem to be finding it really hard to 'enjoy' ds. And I can't work out if I'm being over-anxious, or whether there is any cause for concern with him. I know he's still v young, but I keep comparing him to what I remember of dd at that age.

He seems to be meeting milestones so far - but he's not that smiley or giggly. In fact, he's quite a serious baby. He DOES smile - at me, at dh, at dd, but not always, and with strangers he looks more confused when they smile at him. He IS engaged with the world tho' - seems curious and loves watching dd playing. DD was much smilier and giggly, and I guess that made it much easier to bond with her. Are some babies less obviously smily than others? I never had to ask this question with dd, as she was generally so happy.

I kind of hate myself for comparing him with dd and over-analysing at this age. I know I need to relax and just enjoy it, but I think maybe lack of sleep (he's a bad sleeper) is tipping me over the edge a bit.

Thank you for any advice.
x

He sounds a perfectly normal baby. Yes, some babies are not big smilers - but that doesn't mean that they're not happy or affectionate etc etc and it doesn't mean that they won't be smiley, happy toddlers and young children.
My niece wasn't smiley at all - in fact she frowned constantly as a baby. But she is the cutest, happiest, most sociable little 18 month old in the world now.

Try and enjoy your ds, if he gives you the chance to get some sleep.
The world and my children always seem ten times harder when I haven't had enough sleep. i'm sure that's what's happening with you and the way you feel about your ds.

hth.

Aww I've had this converstion so many times! My ds is not a big smiler even now at 10 months. He can be very smiley and has the most gorgeously infectious laugh but they are few and far between. DS still rarely if ever smiles at strangers. He is more likely to whinge if they get too close and cry if they try and hold him. He is a very serious little boy who just doesn't ebjoy being a baby. He is very independant and gets wound up very easily.

I have had so many worries over him so I know what you're going through. At one point, I convinced myself (because all my friend's babies are so laid back and such big smilers), that there must be something developmentally or medically wrong with him. As far as I know, there isn't! He meets all his milke stones (eg, sitting up, crawling, pulling up on furniture), he is just not a smiler. I tend to think of him as an adult trapped in a babies body. I mean how many adults do you know who grin and smile at everyone and everything?? I dobn't know any! They are all different. He sounds fine!

Sorry for the typing errors!

Thank you. It's so reassuring to hear of other 'serious' babies. Meandmyjoe - I keep comparing him to friends' babies too. But then I despair of myself of doing this, because I do love him, and want to love him for himself not for what I think he 'should' be like.

And yep, MabelMay, lack of sleep is definitely distorting my head at the moment.

Thanks.

Sounds like mine too- A very intense young man even at 6 months!

DS1 was like this, Traveller. People would comment that he was very "serious". I actually don't remember him laughing, but we do have video evidence to the contrary.

Sorry to hijack this thread but may I ask whether non smiley/ serious babies grow up to be serious/ difficult children?? Does anyone have any experiences??? I just worry sometimes that my ds will always be a grump!

My dh was a very serious baby and still tends to be quite serious.

Weel, DS1 is now 9. He was grumpy for a long time, and can be quite moody, BUT every single school report he's had has comented on his good sence of humour.

He's laughing now... and I eally want him to go to bed

Mmmm there is hope then! It's hard to imagine my ds ever having a sense of humour. Even tickling him just seems to annoy him (unless he's in a good mood, in which case he laughs hysterically! )