DS just turned 6 has always been a handful for us at home. Never so much outside of home and is doing really well at school, very sociable, funny and loves the structure of school.
He is great for his GPs, aunty, friends’ mum’s etc and so I have always wondered what we are doing wrong at home. He has also struggled a lot with having wee accidents as he’s always left it to the last minute which has been a problem for over 3 years.
For a long time I have thought that he just wasn’t the nicest person, naturally impolite, he wanted control over DH and I, teased his little sister and was just a difficult character, but this Xmas hol I decided I needed to go along with the idea of “behaviour is communication” and Chat gpt of all platforms helped me work out what’s really going on, and I hope this can help others if they were also confused.
My DS has issues with interoception, he can’t pick up on body queues and sensations, and struggled to understand his emotions, and so he feels a lot of anxiety about his lack of control, he masks this outside the home and then it all pours out when he relaxes with us. Supposedly this will improve year on year from now, and I am already accepting him much more for this, not thinking he’s just being naughty but accepting he is struggling with something, and I feel already we are being more understanding to him.
I just wanted to write this post because it’s helped me get it out of my head, but also in case anyone else has wondered if their child has PDA or an anxiety problem, when actually it may be a normal (albeit a bit frustrating) part of a child’s individual development.