I'm losing my mind with 11 month old

[thisisthelast]

OK, I'm back AGAIN! dd2 is nearly 11 months old and her behaviour has ruined our family. I feel so awful for saying that but it's true

DD1 is now very cling and wants more attention, obviously not helped due to dd2 being the most grumpy, whingey baby in the world and taking so much entertaining.

She seems to cry more than most newborns cry! She whimpers on and off all day. She crawls off, finds a toy, whimpers and cries, crawls off, finds another toy, starts to whinge again.

She still will not sit still. Hates her pushchair and carseat. Will not be cuddled. I can't go anywhere and I am really wishing that we had not had her.

I know it sounds terrible. I do love her but I am so unhappy living with such an unhappy child. I dont know how much longer I can do this for.

DP works a lot and I am stuck in doors with 2 children, one of which is so grumpy all the time which makes us all miserable.

Just putting her in her highchair for dinner had her in tears. I can do nothing right. I am so on edge now as she kicks off for no reason.

Everyone said it would get better once she got mobile. Well she's been crawling for 2 months now and is a moody and difficult as ever. She does smile but only with a lot of prompting.

Is there something wrong with her? I am so scared she actually may be mentally ill or something. PLEASE HELP!

I agree personality can play a part (and don't forget, today's difficult baby can be tomorrow's diva/pm etc ) but all the stuff about hating being restrained, needing to be on the go, etc also rings true for babies with silent reflux or other discomfort/pain.

I would ask GP to try some meds before ruling it out, worth a try - honestly, dd is not the same child with hers as she is without. Understandably.

But dd is much much better now as yours will be.

Not sure if anyone has mentioned anything like this, I have read op's posts. Could she maybe (don't want to be a scaremonger) have something wrond with her physically that is causing her pain while she is awake???? A joint thing or something with her hips??? Maybe I am reaching here, but you never know.
I used to nanny a girl who was lactose intolerant and she had medicine for it, which if she didn't have she was up all night screaming but worse than your dd sounds. In the end she had an endoscopy and it was ulcers at the entrance of some part of her stomach /intestine tract. Can't remember the name of the part, but when something irritated it it was awful.
What has your gp said????

It was the comments about crying when being dressed that made me wonder about a joint thing btw

I rememeber my HV saying that behaviour is often a cue to physical pain with very little dc's.
She did say cring all day at an older age was usually a symptom of something else...perhaps you need a referral

Hi all, thanks again for the posts. I have taken her to the gp who did check her joints, prescribed gaviscon incase of reflux. She was on it for a month and no improvement. I also took her to cranial osteopath who seemed to think everything was ok, he massaged her head and checked for strains/ twisted muscles in her body. All OK. He said she was just clever and wanting to be on the go .

I don't think she's in pain when i dress her bandofmothers, she just is peed off as i'm making her laydown and be restrained!

I am now wondering if she could be milk intolerant as she has excema which i keep under control with oilatum cream. I've read that grumpiness and excema can be a symptom. There seems to be many other symptoms listed that she doesn't suffer from though. Her poos are fine, she puts on weight, she doesn't vomit, she sleeps well (although getting her to sleep can be difficult as she doesn't seem to know how to switch off).

A lot of it seems to be personality. My friend's baby grumbles if you take a toy off him. DD2 screams and smacks her arms around in rage. She pulls up on something but when she flops back on her bum, instead of just trying again, she meltsdown and gets very angry! I'm thinking she will just be a diifficult child who needs anger management by age 3!

Its true she might just be a bit advanced for her age - my 18 month old is doing lots of that frustration stuff, and its very normal for that developmental stage!

Glad you have a GP that listens, thats good to hear

btw, gaviscon did nothing for me when I had pg heartburn - Zantac did. Ditto dd, gaviscon did nothing for her silent reflux (which was confirmed via endoscopy in the end, due to another issue) but Ranitidine (same as Zantac) did.

Not that I'm insisting your dd has reflux by any means - just a point I wanted to make about the limitations of Gaviscon. GPs always prescribe it first, but IMO its a waste of time for the non-vomiting type of reflux.

Hi Thisisthelast,

I am reading your posts and I find comfort in the fact that I am not alone. My 16 month old son is exhibiting the same issues. It is so distressing and frustrating. Many days, I end up crying myself. I so desperately want him to be happy, but like you dd2, Aidan is unhappy about 80% of the day. When I am lucky enough to have play dates, that seems to help. I try to avoid staying home alone with him because he is most miserable then. If we are at someone else's house, he seems to do better, and seems much happier.

Please keep in touch...maybe we could continue trading ideas that work

Hi SamiLaur,

So sorry you are going through the same thing. I find that being out and about helps my mood but doesn't really improve dd's! I find going out quite stressful as I know at some point she'll start crying and fussing.

Being at home is even more difficult for me though. Can't write much now, dd whinging! I just wanted to offer my sympathy and thank u for your response, it would be nice to stay in touch!

Back later.

Hi ThisistheLast,

Thanks for writing back. Well, at the very least, getting out of the house helps you feel better, and so maybe you should keep doing it, though in short spurts (say 1/2 hour-1 hour). Also try going out after her nap, and make sure you have plenty of snacks and water/milk. I am not above bribery to get a little calmness, and if it means animal crackers, well so be it.

Feel free to shout back any time, you want to vent or just need someone to sympathize/empathize. I most certainly will. It is certainly comforting to know I am not alone. Many times, I feel that I am the only one having such a difficult time.

I am around till Wednesday, and then off on holiday (though I can't say it will be a holiday with the 6 hour flight, and then 6 hours of driving with baby -- long story for another day) until August 8th.

Have a lovely holiday! I haven't dared to book a holiday this year as dd2 would be a nightmare on the plane and cries in the car too . I still have to time long journeys around her naps so she sleeps instead of screams! dd1 was nothing like this, she could easily sit happily in the car, sometimes for an hour or more with just her nursery rhyme cd to keep her ammused. DD2- No chance!!

6 hours of driving with dd2 sounds like touture but hopfully your ds isn't bad in the car.

Thanks for the support, somtimes I see people breezing along with their babies and I can't help but compare, it's very isolating.

DD2 is a year old next week and she is still so unsettled. Everyday I try and be positive in the hope that something will change, it never does!

I don't know how you've coped for 16 months, I think you must be a much calmer stronger person than me!

Does your ds seem irritable in certain situations ie in the buggy or getting dresed? Or is he just grumpy a lot of the time!? My dd is terrible in the car and also in the high chair, whinges to come out after 2 mouthfulls. Doing baby led weaning but she stil gets bored after a minute!

Does ds sleep well? Is he walking? I keep hoping dd will improve when she's walking but I have a feeling I may be in for a big disappointment!

Anyway, better go. Thanks again, it's good to know I'm not totally alone!

Hi,

Sorry for my delayed response. I haven't been on the site since Sunday. I am leaving for holiday in a few hours, but wanted to go online once more before leaving.

Aidan does not do well in the car usually...We normally take him less than two hours, and during his nap which is two hours. It has taken until maybe 13 months before he slept that much during the day. When he was born, he only slept 1/2 hour at a time (found out later, he had reflux, and it hurt to lie down).

For the driving part of our trip,we will split the trip up into 4hours and two hours over two days. We have a DVD player, so hopefully that can give us a couple of hours in between stopping. We'll see how it goes.

I understand about comparing babies...I do the same. I must admit though, it is sometimes (and I stress, "sometimes"), getting easier, as he is now mobile (he didn't walk until he was 14 months), and can communicate a little more. But I definitely don't think I am a calm person. So many times, I feel like a terrible mother for yelling at him, or sending him to his crib. I get so frustrated. My saving grace is the playdates that I would set up with friends.

DS definitely hates to be changed...sometimes it is easier than others. He is very strong-willed, so when he wants to do something, and I don't want him to do that, I normally get a temper tantrum. He is okay in his high-chair. I normally am lax about when he eats, and if he wants out, I tell him he could go play with his toys. I figure, he will eat when he is hungry.

Good luck. We'll chat more when I get back. Just remember, you are not alone. And it is starting to get easier on some days.