Have a rough time with my 7week old please help!!!

[missvicki]

My dd is 7and a half weeks old,and was just starting to get into a managable routine of bf and sleeping. However, just under two weeks ago we spent a week in yorkshire visiting family which seems to have completly thrown her out of her routin and made her very clingy. This week she has been on and off the breast I think mainly for comfort as she is refusing to take a dummy or my little finger which she would suck on before for comfort, and she won't sleep during the day unless it's on me.

Also we're not having any happy play time at the moment, she is smiling as we do get some smiles but the majority of her waking time is grizzley. This situation is starting to get me down and i feel i'm not enjoying her as i should.

I have wondered if this behaviour is down to my own stresses as we are struggling financially and are due in court next week to have our house repossessed aswell as other issues, but if this is effecting her how do i shield her from it, as at present i am feeling really low and not enjoying being a mother and even want to give up bf because i'm so fed up of her clinging to me!

Have spoken to health visitor and her advice was that dd is tired and to put her in her cot and stay with her til she drops off and weather the crying. I did this yesterday with the health visitor here but dd cried angrily for over half hour and dropped off for 10min only to wake again after h.visitor had left tried to perserver again but couldn't cope with hearing her cry like that.

DD is sleeping well at night although i do use a formula bottle from time to time which may be why. So this problem only seems to be in the daytime, but it's making life really difficult. Please try and help i want to enjoy my baby.

All I can say is that this WILL pass. I think most babies go through ths stage. I too tried the crying thing and just like your baby, my son slept for 20 mins and woke up screaming his head off again!

You could be right about her picking up on your stress - but dont beat yourself up about that. You are a mummy but you are also a human being!!!

Is there anyone who could look after her for a couple of hours during the day? Even twice a week? I found that really helped when I was so fed up with it all.

do you have a sling/baby bjorn carrier so you can take her out for a walk - she'd then be close to you but you can both get some fresh air?
it will pass though, they all have phases of this!

I don't have any magic solutions but based on experience, your baby is still very tiny and I think it takes at least until 3-4 months before they start to settle down. At this age, their needs are very basic (food, sleep and comfort) so don't feel stressed about 'play time'. They don't need masses of stimulation at this age (in fact over stimulation used to cause grizzling in both my daughters), just having interaction with you and the world about is enough stimulation. They go through big growth spurts so that can explain some of the irregularities in feeding.

You are going through a difficult time, so find what works for you. My dd1 was a nightmare at this age and in the end I abandoned trying to introduce a set routine(but did keep bath, massage bed) and by the time we got round to weaning a routine had happened naturally. In terms of getting her settled, things I found helped were a bit of background noise like the radio, swaddling and a dummy. DD1 loved her dummy but dd2 just didn't take to it (although she did take a dummy by NUK for a while which is slightly different shape).

It's so easy to say with hindsight but my only advice would be to go with the flow and don't set yourself unrealistic objectives. You are in the thick of the newborn phase with masses of stress on the side. Be good to yourself, try and get some rest and don't stress. If in the day she'll only sleep on you, take the opportunity to sit down and put your feet up and when you feel ready, try experimenting with other ways of getting her to sleep in the day. Around 12 weeks it does start to get easier. Relish those times when she does fall asleep on you, they pass so quickly and you will miss having a newborn to sniff!