At my wits end with picky DD waking in the middle of the night for food!!

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My DD almost 3 ate a variety of different foods when I started weaning at 6months but she did show signs of severely disliking alot of foods. I assumed it was normal as some foods do take some getting used to for babies e.g. fish or bitter veg. After around 15M she became so incredibly picky and now she has literally 7 foods (not including crisps/junk food) that she will eat.

Cucumber and carrot sticks
Hummus
Toast with butter/buttered bread
Weetabix
Cheese in most forms
Chips

She won't try or eat anytjing else and will start gagging if I attempt to feed her something new (that is if I can get her to taste it). Her refusal and pickiness regarding food honestly affects so much of our day to day life. Ive TRIED AND TRIED to be chill about it but the last two days shes refused even most of her safe foods and asked for crisps and biscuits all day and I refused to give in as she can't live off junk, she went bed and woke up at 2am screaming that shes starving and needs a cheese sandwich. Im exhuasted, any tips?
Must add her DS younger than her eats anything and everything so im very confused.

Bump, ? Really need advice :(

TBF i dont think that is too unusual at her age? Does she go to sky kind of childcare and does she eat there?

What has she eaten so far today?

@SleafordSods she doesn't no, she is watched by mil or my mum the 2 days I work and shes the same there. Also on play dates etc she won't eat even if her friends are.

Today she has had sliced cucumber, cheese cubes, a packet of ellas kitchen crisps and bit into an apple. That's it.

She has been offered however
Toast with beans
A snack platter with different fruit and veg that's been on her little table all day
Pasta with bolognese sauce
Home made pizzas with a variety off different toppings offered (she made the pizza with me happily but wouldn't touch once it was ready to eat and just cried)

Is Nursery an option? Would she be entitled to some free hours? My extremely fussy DD started eating a wide variety once she was in Nursery at age 3.

Have you read the book My Child Won’t Eat? I was out of print whilst we were struggling with fussy eating but it’s back in print now and supposed to be good.

Is she properly hungry in the day too? Does she swim, play outside, go to the park etc?

With our DD for a while the only thing I offered between meals was fruit and that was only if she asked for something and I made sure she was busy so when I came to eating at least I knew she would be hungry.

DS7 is a very fussy eater, potentially with AFRID but I think mild to moderate if so. He eats a limited range of foods not dissimilar to your daughter.

He never woke consistently to say he’s hungry but I used to try to ensure dinner was something that fills him up even if it’s not typical ‘dinner food’. It may be worth considering what’s the food that’s likely to fill her up over night - maybe highest in fats and protein? Or at that age you may want to consider a snack before bed…?

Then I’d continue to offer other foods as you are doing in a relaxed way and expose her to lots of foods - get her to help shop and cook with you etc, have food out on the table and ask her to serve food to others. Get her to touch it and cut them up etc. Try not to rely on one brand where possible - expose her to different brands and types of white breads, cut the foods into triangles instead of rectangles etc if she’ll accept that.

I agree that lots of kids are fussy at age 3 but I wish I’d known that for some the fussy eating is hard to crack. Also, alongside that, how important it is that meals are relaxed (fussy eating can be an anxiety thing) and to be working on my concerns about this. I’ve struggled with how bad his eating appears to others.

DS would go hungry rather than eat if it’s not something he feels he can eat. He often gags if trying a new food.

He’s beginning to be willing to try things now - meaning for bites and tiny amounts of new foods Maybe the fussy eating ‘phase’ is ending or maybe I’m learning how to expose him to foods. He may always struggle with this. Your DD may not turn out to be that extreme and you may not need this advice.

My advice would be not to worry.

However try and give her something just before bed if she hasn't eaten much that day.
So a cheese sandwich/toast/wheatabix which will fill her up.

Make sure every meal has something she likes, and don't put pressure on her to eat if she doesn't want to. Even as an adult that is #1 in making me struggle to eat, even when the pressure is from me feeling that I should.

For trying new things, don't make a big thing. Pop a tiny piece on a separate plate for her to try and put it next to hers. Perhaps also put a little treat food eg crisps on the plate too. Don't comment if she's eaten or not eaten it, except to ask if she'd like a little more if she has.

Don't push it. People say children will eat if they're hungry. I would win any of those battles. My hunger feeling switches off if I don't eat, and even the thought of eating makes me feel sick. It's a real issue if I've been ill and not wanting to eat because I know if I have nothing, then I will find it really difficult to start eating again.

I was one of three dc and termed "fussy". My siblings were regarded as great eaters.
As an adult I realise two things:

1. They had a greater appetite than I did, so I was often faced with a portion I knew I wouldn't finish which is really offputting to start,
2. They liked the solid English food which my parents did. I didn't. So I was faced meal after meal with stuff I didn't like. They actually were far more fussy than I was, and much less likely to try a new food. If my parents had served some of this exotic foreign food like pizza, or pasta occasionally then I'd have loved it. My siblings probably wouldn't have even tried it.

So from that my experience is:

1. Put only a little on a plate, tiny amount of each food. Square of bread, square of cheese. Piece of cucumber. You can add more if they want later. Her saying "yes please" to more will make her feel great and help her find food to be positive.
2. Have different things around. Let her try a spoon off your plate, while having stuff she likes on her plate. That takes the pressure off her liking it.
3. Sometimes having a treat food can help with eating stuff you're less keen on. I struggle with eating bread. Eating crisps with the bread takes it from being really difficult to being able to eat it, because I can concentrate on the crisps.
4. Don't get upset, angry or beg. That adds to the pressure and makes it harder to eat.

What I want to say is that I really did want to eat "properly". I wasn't doing it to be awkward or attention seeking or even to get "nicer" food. It really was a struggle for me to eat, and that made mealtimes very hard.