Shoul I start the Contented Little Baby routines by Gina Ford?

[Claireebells]

Hi there, I haven't bought the book, but I am wondering whether to start the routines.

My daughter is 3 weeks old and has her own routine: feeding 3-4hourly during the day then a feed at about 8.30pm, after which she sleeps until 1.30am, feeds and sleeps again. The problem is that after the 4.30am feed, she doesn't settle at all, spitting out dummy after 10 minutes, we've tried changing her, offering more food, cuddles, swaddling. She will settle after the 7.30am feed however.

Would trying the Gina Ford routines disrupt her own 5-hour 'bedtime' sleep pattern. Am I expecting too much from a 3-week old, or should I adjust daytime naps and feeds to allow her to sleep at 4.30??
Advice much appreciated!!

ahem...so are we allowed to discuss GF now?! it would seem so. did i miss something? true i've been away from mnet for a while.

morrocco

I have had three dcs and truly believe it matters little what we do as parents, just let you baby decide. My first 2 dcs were a mother's dream, really easy, found their own routines early, slept through from about 12 weeks.... wow I thought I was the best mother in the world!! I would look at my friends with quiet judgement wondering what they're doing wrong??
Then I had my third child, wrong wrong wrong!! DC3 was a nightmare, screamed, cried, fed and slept a little!!!

morocco aswell

I totally disagree with Ladytophat.
Many advise a 'go with the flow approach'.
And to some, it all coems naturally.
That is fine.
But some people like routine. And some people get upset when they don't know/understand what their baby is trying to tell them.
I believe that there is room for both approaches on MN.

Claireebells I think you probably know very much better what your little baby needs at 4.30 in the morning, than some woman in America who has never even met your little girl, let alone spent the last 3 weeks holding her, caring for her, getting to know her and loving her.

Same here twelvelegs.

I've done teh same with all 4 of ours, Ds3 was a rotter at night, right up until about 15 months.
Ds4 has been done whatever he wants and its worked perfectly. Even now he might have 3-4 sleeps a day and he's 18 months now....although that has more to do with having 3 older brothers constantly disturbing him .

It only now that I very occaisionly get to sta in bed beyond 6:30am. Thsi morning it was 7:30amd and i had to be woken up....thats like lunch time here

anyway, forget the books, enjoy her/him, sleep when she/he does during the day to catch up on teh early starts.
Personally I always loved the night hours when it was just me and him awake. It felt like it was just us in the world.....

Agree ladytopham. If it was meant to be easy, men would have babies too! I was knackered for the first few months but am so pleased I did it all my way.
My indep. midwife helped me get through the first 6 months and was a firm believer in co-sleeping, sling wearing and feeding on demand. She kept telling me DD would find her own routine after this, obviously with a bit of help from me. I didn't believe her but with she was totally right. From 10 weeks she was only waking once for feed and at 12m was sleeping through night till 8/8:30 in morning.
Obviously each to their own and I'm not judging anyone's experience with GF as really don't want backlash. Have you tried skin on skin with her at 4:30am? Basically lie her on your chest so that she can feel your heartbeat. Really worked for me. Also I had classic FM on very low volume all night - infact still did up until we moved to Oz.

LTH I remember that night time feeling well. All was quiet and the dimly lit room, just me and a snuggly baby - I can't wait for it again, in a way

Oh and I agree wholeheartedly with LTH

Oh, Oblomov I love routine too...

Only one that the baby has created him self though and they all do eventually IME. even when if takes 15 months like ds3[grimace]

Good, I'm glad we can discuss this without it decending into a row. People should be able to follow routines if thats what works for them and their babies. I turned to one in desperation when DD had colic (going with the flow was not an option as she NEVER stopped crying). Didn't do GF as it was too rigid for me.

I miss it too! weird...that lovely smell of newborn bubs - ahhhh!

Do read the book properly before you decide she is the lady for you. She has some helpful advice in there, but its very full on, which as a new Mum may make you feel a bit overwhelmed.
Have you looked into Tracey Hogg's book, the Baby Whisperer? Its a much more relaxed approach which helps you learn to understand your baby. I used that and realised my LO was into his own routine and didnt need me to structure him at all. (its not at all lentil weaverish, its just a slightly different approach to the regimentation of the GF routine - which some people find very useful) But someone once said to me, try doing GF without the baby and if you cope, then fine. If you don't then you won't be able to do it with a baby too. Good luck x

Ladytop, this little baby, and we all agree she is very very young, has put herself practically into a routine that mum can set her clock by already, hasn't she ?
My ds did that. It was well spooky.
I think the whole discusssion on should babies be in a routine - yes or no, is not the issue here.
Mum just needs advice with the 4.30am thing.

I used GF loosely for DS 1 no problem but the routine didnt work at all with my second.

If it works great go for it but dont spend the day looking at your watch and thinking GF says I should be doing this now or you will stress yourself out completely.

Actually Brightongirl, you just reminded me.
ds4 always used to wake up up at 4-4:30am every day, much like claireebells DD and the on;y way I got him back to sleep is to let him sleep on my chest.
I loved it and it emant we both got another few hours of sleep and cuddles.

It didn't create bad habits either because he grew out of it by about 4-5 months.

I miss that actually.

MamaG, I am longing for thta aswell. The 2am feed. All snuggly as I sit in a rocking chair , with ds snuggled into my breast. Oh I am starting to weep.
Bring on November, I can't wait.

all you lot getting googley and misty eyed - you are looking back with rost tinted specs surely?

newborns are hard work!

I was rubbish with newborns, I hated the night time feeding too

other peoples newborns are great as you can get all broody and then hand them back

Obolmov, I have go on a bit actually havn't I??

LOL

Try the chest thing Claire, it worked for ds4 and all my others did it a various times too

Yeh LTH - tried with DD the other night when she was teething, but she smacked me in the face! Saying that she is 13 months and was probably embarrassed lying on her mums chest! Its an amazing feeling though and I recommend it to anyone. DD is very calm (apart from when smacking me in face) and I swear its this time we had together.

I agree completely with LTH.

How can a baby understand any kind of routine at this age? I just don't get this "i need to get my baby into a routine" lark.

I certainly never followed any type of routine, and both my dc slipped into one themselves, always been good, solid sleepers.

I would always feed at 11pm, then 3am, then 7am. They naturally dropped the 3am feed themselves, and eventually the 11pm feed becomes a dream feed, then they dropped that when ready too.

LTH, I'll let you off, just this once

I second that lying on the chest thing. Ds and I cosleep and we snuggle all night long. When he wakes and can't go back to sleep, he crawls onto my chest and hugs me with his whole body, face in my neck. He is 21 months.

If you do do GF then do it in a relaxed - 'general guidlines' sort of way and not in a 'Oh my GOD - it's ten past seven and the bedroom door isn't shut yet - my whole routine is SHOT to hell' way. It's too 'life absorbing' Also don't even bother tying to do it with a second baby.
GF plainly has no concept that while you are attempting to BF your baby pre bedtime in a quiet and gloomy room and then calmly laying it in it's cot, Daddy may not be home from work yet and there's a toddler either screaming for you and trashing downstairs or screaming to be picked up and ruining the 'calm' atmosphere of baby's bedtime.

It did work quite well with DS1 however but not til he was at least a couple of months old.