Shoul I start the Contented Little Baby routines by Gina Ford?

[Claireebells]

Hi there, I haven't bought the book, but I am wondering whether to start the routines.

My daughter is 3 weeks old and has her own routine: feeding 3-4hourly during the day then a feed at about 8.30pm, after which she sleeps until 1.30am, feeds and sleeps again. The problem is that after the 4.30am feed, she doesn't settle at all, spitting out dummy after 10 minutes, we've tried changing her, offering more food, cuddles, swaddling. She will settle after the 7.30am feed however.

Would trying the Gina Ford routines disrupt her own 5-hour 'bedtime' sleep pattern. Am I expecting too much from a 3-week old, or should I adjust daytime naps and feeds to allow her to sleep at 4.30??
Advice much appreciated!!

Shes 3 weeks old. Getting a 5 hour block of sleep is fantastic at that age. She'll sort herself out given time - just emphasise night by not changing her (unless pooey), or swaddling her again in the night, but making it all very calm and dim in the night.

Have you tried co-sleeping ? Maybe she just wants to be close to you then ?

Wait a bit longer before you think about forcing a routine on her, and see how she goes - its a lot easier in the long run.

I would leave things as they are to be honest. It sounds very normal and she will set her own routine. It's tiring though. My ds was the same til 10 weeks old and then suddenly started sleeping through for 12 hours a night. Have you tried maybe offering her an extra feed in the day to see if that will prolong her night feeds to 2:30am and maybe get her to go til 6am instead of 4:30. Other than that I'm afraid it's just something that will happen in time. Sounds like you're doing great though! 5 hours at that age is amazing. My ds was up every 4 hours until 10 weeks old and even that is fairly good and I was very lucky that he slept through so young.

If it ain't broke etc. She sounds like she's doing very well and very typical for a 3 week old baby. That 4.30am fussy time will soon be over.

It sounds to me as if she has found a lovely routine all by herself (clever little thing) and it would be silly to override her tiny instincts with someone else's routine.

You're doing just fine and dandy for a 3 week old baby, so just relax and enjoy

Claireebells, things change so much at 3 weeks and will continue to do so for much of the first year and beyond.

If the 4:30 fussy time is not causing you big problems, I would just concentrate on enjoying your daughter and going with the flow. I find it stressful and limiting to follow a schedule that may or may not work.

We used the GF sleep routines as a loose guide and found they worked very well and that both our children adapted to them very easily. I found it a real help.

We didn't start until a good few weeks older than 3 weeks though, and also didn't beat ourselves up about having had to have showered and had a slice of toast etc by 7am - it never once happended in this house!

A lot of people have reservations about trying to force babies into the GF routines, but the main thing is that you and the baby are both happy. I don't think mine were forced in to the routines and as I said we found it very good as a family.

I'm not remotely averse to Gina Ford, or any other routines (easy to say when still pregnant with first baby!), but it sounds like your daughter has got herself into a better routine than many babies her age - perhaps it's not worth trying to fix now, and see whether she grows out of grizzly4am phase in a few weeks?

Unless it's driving you absolutely bananas and you are prepared to risk disrupting the entire routine for a few days until she is settled into a new one, which I wouldn't blame you for either!

Read trhe book before you decide

I would say go with the flow for the first 3 months, then a routine can start

or a routine will fall naturally into place

the first 3 months are for feeding and sleeping on demand imo

(and that goes for the mother as well as baby)

I agree with hopefully.
I'm a big fan of getting some structure to your day, but IME it is much easier if the structure comes from the baby rather than a book

If you do want to go the "book" route then have you looked the baby whisperer? She offers a structure that is less rigid and more compatible with what your lo is doing right now.

Thank you so much for your comments so far...this is a real help! I think I will read the book and then make a decision.
Maybe the routines in the book are actually what my daughter is doing already!
I will also look at the baby whisperer...

The baby whisperer is a little less rigid than GF in terms of routine and but it does sound like your dd is fine. At 3 weeks old I really wouldn't worry much about routine - its all so changeable and such a precious time that to try and impose routine rather than follow a babys lead is a little harsh.

By the way, if you do suddenly "start" a routine don't be surprised by a subsequent rebellion!

Small they may be but I know who I'd have my money on.....

god, no !

you sound like you're doing really really well .. and she will change over the next few weeks and settle naturally into her own and probably better routine .. mine used to sleep till 8 or 9am and gina would have had me waking them at 7

Just try to go with your baby's flow. She's too young for routines. It's a time for listening to your child and what she needs.

And she's sleeping for a five hour chunk already? Wow. Lucky you!

I personally find a structure to the day vital for the happiness of baby and myself. I think that some babies find their own routine and fairly quickly and relatively easily work out the difference between day and night and will sleep long stretches and will sleep through early on. Other babies need the guidance of an adult imposed routine (but sensitive to babies needs) because they would not naturally settle themselves to sleep. I had 1 baby who was like the former, and 2 babies like the latter. For the more challenging babies, the gina ford routines were very helpful to us. I would go with it if you start to feel unhappy with the way things are going. You can always stop if it doesn't work for you.

I think routine is important (as much for me as baby) , but you seem to have a routine going quite nicely already for 3 weeks.

I really struggled with DS1 until we got a routine established and,as things got so much easier once we had a routine, I was determined DS2 would have one earlier, so I followed the book.

In fact, DS1 established his own routine, much sooner than I managed to establish one for DS2 by following GF. I wouldn;t do it again.

Ds was very similar. He put himself in a routine that you could set your clock by , before he was 2 weeks old. He fed at 6am,10am,2pm,6pm,10pm,2am, almost to the dot. It was bizare.
It seems that she is in a routine of her own, which is a very good one for you, already. I think you shouldn't be thinking about this in terms of routine at all.
She is is one. You just need some help managing this 4.30am time.
So tell us more - what happens at the 4.30am, how long does it last. Give us us some clues and I am sure plenty of people will be able to suggest many things for you to atleast try.

I did GF with both my boys and think her routines are ace for them. Ds1 (at 4.8 still really needs it). 4:30 was a tough time for both of them. The key thing I think is to bear in mind that you want them to sleep 'til later, so make it as quiet and dull as possible and with time they'll stop waking. Don't switch on lights, change nappies, watch telly, play music whatever. Just pop them back in their basket/cot and soothe them if necessary until they nod off. I tried a trick with a square through the loop of the dummy so ds2 could always get his dummy back in if he wanted it (saving me getting back out of bed).

are we allowed to talk about gf again now on here then? thought it was a banned topic?

try reading about attachment parenting to get the other side as well, dr sears is a good link to try

Could she be a bit too hot at the moment?

Like others have said, make the 4.30 feed as dull and low-key as possible - no bright lights, changing, merry songs, rocking etc.

I love routines (followed a relaxed version of GF with ds1, doing the same with ds2), but think maybe 3 weeks is a little early for all that. I think I started at about 6 weeks with ds 2 (much later with ds1 - 12weeks?).

I'm always amazed when I read these threads about following any instruction book for babies.
They are so tiny, they have no clue of what time it is, all they know it that they are hungry/wet/tired/not tired....IMO and IME you can't (and TBh I think shouldn't) try a force a routine on such tiny babies.

Just go with teh flow and it'll all even out eventually.
It will mean early starts, broken nights and all that stuff but just enjoy your tiny newborn.

Don't follow a book to tel you how to parent him/her.

couldn't agree more, ladytophamhatt