8 mo always grisly/miserable unless constantly entertained

[BritishBeef]

My DS is 8.5 months old and seems to need entertaining constantly or he grizzles/cries. If I give him a toy, he will play with it for about 10 seconds, get bored and be grouchy until I give him something else. It's the same if I interact with him too. He may find something interesting for about 5 seconds then go back to grizzling. The problem is that I need to entertain him 24/7 and I can't get a thing done let alone get a break. He seems to get bored so quickly. If we go out in the car he starts to play up after about 10 minutes (he never used to). It's so exhausting. Add that to the fact that he wants to be up at either 4 or 5am each day!

Now I know you are supposed to play and entertain your baby but I can't leave him on his own to play at all. He seems so miserable.

He can be the smiliest happy baby when he wants to be - especially when people visit or when out shopping for example. People always comment when I'm out on what a smiley happy baby he is. It seems the only way to keep him happy is to take him out ALL the time!

I often worry that it's me that makes him unhappy

He's been teething for quite a while - he has 4 through at the moment. He has recently been able to stay sat up and is nearly crawling.

Am I expecting too much or is this normal behaviour at this age?

Feeding solids is a battle due to the fact that unless I give him a new thing to look at/play with he won't take a mouthful.

I'm finding this so hard at the moment. I'm a stay at home Dad / Househusband (Wife is main breadwinner). I'm concerned that it's because him Mummy's away at work as when she's here he isn't as bad.

most 8 month old babies don't "Play" with toys as they don't have any concentration span

good things at this age are:

pots and pans to bang with a wooden spoon

things with lots of textures (google heuristic play or search the archives on here for Franny's tips on making up a basket of stuff)

teething can makes babies very grumpy - lots of ashton and parsons teething powders are great

if he is happiest outside - let him sit in the garden and play

take him swimming

oh, and it isn't you making him unhappy

DD (10m) gets bored very quickly hanging round the house - even going into a different room can help. I think they get bored of the same four walls much quicker than we do.
Even sitting him in the highchair while you are in the kitchen, or on the bathroom floor while you shower might help.

It will get better once he crawls as he will see something that interests him and be able to go and investigate it of his own bat.
DD also made a great leap when she discovered she could empty toys out of her basket herself rather than me handing them to her one by one - she rootles around in a great chaotic heap of stuff but seems to enjoy it.
The simplest things hold her attention the longest - a plastic takeaway tub with a bell in it is top favourite at the moment, followed closely by a shower gel bottle (interesting curved hanging shape), wooden spoons and the peg bag. Meanwhile the expensive educational pop-up things from Granny are completely ignored .

I'd also suggest trying not to stress about food - if he's fighting it, don't force him as you risk setting up mealtimes being a battle for years to com. How is he with finger food? His main nutrition should still be coming from milk at this stage so it doesn't matter if not much is going in, just that he's enjoying exploring food generally.

Door bouncer? Music box?

Thanks for the advice, already making me feel better. With regards to finger foods, he is brilliant! He would eat them all day by himself if left!

oh well in that case you are made - ditch the spoon and let him get on with it
Great recipes on Aitch's blog if you're short of ideas. (If you have a freezer full of purees, you can add mashed potato or mushed up beans or similar to thicken them, then roll into balls for him to pick up himself. Or spread on toast.)

MrsB is right about the weaning

BLW is fab and especially so if he enjoys feeding himself

BritishBeef, it's not you he doesn't like! Please don't think that. I have been where you are and it's bloody hard work. My ds sounds very similar to yours. He is now 10 months old and is still a grizzley, whingey lump! He is VERY serious and cries at the drop of a hat. He can be such a smiler and has the most adorable laugh but it's so much hard work to keep him entertained. He seems incapable of sitting still and just watching things. He always has to have a toy or something in his hand and protests at most things including being put down and getting dressed.

I wonder if he is just very frustrated at wanting to do more than his body will allow him to do. My ds constantly seems unhappy and very frustrated. He has just started crawling but not as well or as fast as he would like so I am hoping when he perfects his new skill he will be a bit happier.

I have a theory that babies who are hard work and need a lot of stimulation are actually just clever and want to make sense of the world. My ds is very very alert so things that most babies wouldn't even notice (eg, wiping his face) get him very wound up as he doesn't undestand why I'm doing it.

I can relate to the feeding solids thing too. I have to have soooo many toys straped to the highchair so I can feed him whilst he plays. I resorted to mostly baby lead weaning, it seems less stressful for him and he sees the food as a toy which keep him quiet for a little while!

It's hard but it's nothing you're doing wrong. It probably just seems easier when your wife is home because there's someone else to talk to and someone else to share the mammoth task of entertaining him!

I feel like my entire day consists of me passing one baby safe object for ds to look at and hold after another

Meandmyjoe:

Wow! Your DS and mine soumd identical! My DS hates to be put down and getting dressed/undressed is such an ordeal that you would think I was torturing him!! He is also at the early stages of crawling and he definately seems frustrated that he can't quite get it right yet.

"passing one baby safe object for ds to look at and hold after another"

in six weeks that will read "prising non-baby-safe objects that you didn't realise he could reach from ds's protesting hands"

My ds was a bit grizzly and clingy around 8-10 months. Like you say, couldn't put him down for a second or leave him to his own devices for long. Now he's 11 months and has been on the gor for a while he's as good as gold. I really think it's frustration at being bright & alert and wanting to get at things but this bloody body doesn't work the way I want it to!

Of course he loves his pa, he just wants to get going from the sound of it. If he's anything like Oscar he'll be as happy as a sandboy once he's fully mobile. Play with him in the garden & just keep the scene changing whilst he's getting there.

Sounds like you're doing a great job.

lol Mrs Badger! Yes, unfortunately since he is now mobile there is an awful lot of tantrums due to me taking him away from unsafe things or taking things off him! He seems to be just as grumpy but his crwling is still a little clumsy, he takes ages to get anywhere and is obviously not happy that when he finally manages to get to something, I take him away from it! I've tried calling to him and distracting him but when he has an idea in his head, he goes with it and there's little way of avoiding a shrieking fit!

Yep, they do sound very very similar Britishbeef, even the car seat thing. DS has never been fond of being in the car and most journeys still havbe to be timed around naps to avoid crying and screaming

It does get better though. I found my ds had a few quite content weeks when he learned to roll at 4 months but then got grumpy again, then was again happy for a couple of weeks when he learned to sit up at 6 months, but then grumpy again. It eems no matter what mile stone he reaches, he is never quite satisfied with his abiity. He seems to meltdown over seemingly nothing and I'm exhausted! How is your ds in the pushchair? My ds gets frustrated when out and about too so have to take hundreds of toys out with us!

Meandmyjoe:
I forgot to say that my DS also cries when I wipe his face -so similar!

He's also not good in a pushchair (after about 20 minutes). He never sleeps in it just gets really tetchy and kicks off.

The pattern you describe matches my DS perfectly.

Oooo big sympathy! It's hard work isn't it?! No one else i know seems to have the same problems we have. Me and my husband were convinced that either we were doing something seriously wrong or there was something seriously wrong with our baby. It's so hard trying to keep him happy. He just wants to be on the move all the time. Let us know how you get on and I'll try and think of more tips to keep him entertained!

Oh, I meant to ask, how is he when you just want to sit and cuddle him? If he's anything like mine, he'll arch his back and demand toys! I still worry that Joseph is a little unusual and none of my friends or family seem to have much af an attatchement with him as he is so highly strung and grumpy.

Meandmyjow - Cuddles are an extreme rarity. He's not interested in them at all unless he's unwell and just woken up crying in pain or something. Otherwise, the same - arching back grisling until I entertain him with new item no. 34753!

DD was like that at 8 months. Fortunately that was when she started going to nursery. There she gets endless stimulation and is very very happy. The nursery manager called her a "dream" last week. She said she loves being into everything and is laways entertaining herself and exploring. Also shes started sleeping longer, must be becuase of all the exercise shes getting!

Ahhh BritishBeef it all sounds so familiar. It;s such hard work trying to keep them happy isn't it?! I've never met another baby like ds but it is comforting to know I'm not on my own. Have you tried him in a walker? I know they're not everyone's cup of tea and I always swore I'd never have one. However, ds was so frustrated at not being mobile and my back was killing me from having to stand and walk around with him (he will never let me sit and cuddle him!) I caved in at 7 months and bought him one. He liked it and it gave me 30 mins to recover from entertining him 13 hours a day!