Help! Nearly 10 week old baby will only contact nap…

[autumn202123]

Hi,

looking for some hope and advice, or even just your own experiences with this as it’s starting to affect me and my family life.
I have a nearly 10 week old DS, I love him to bits but… he is a massive Velcro baby and it’s kind of draining me. My other DS who is nearly 4 years old, was a lot more chill and content/independent even as a newborn so I’m struggling with knowing what to do or if this is even normal…

My baby will only contact nap. He will not sleep anywhere but mine or my husbands (or close relatives) arms. If we try and put him down asleep or drowsy, he is up within 5 minutes (30 if we are lucky) and will cry until he is held, as soon as he is picked up, he is back to sleeping again. I have tried just letting him cry for a minute (not any longer then this as I don’t believe in ‘cry out method’ this young) and laying next to him, shushing him, patting him and resting my hand on him so he knows I’m nearby but to no avail.

The plus side is he is pretty decent at bedtime, when he is put in his sleep bag and put into the next to me crib in our room around 10/11pm he will generally settle himself into sleep within 15 minutes - so I can’t complain too much and he does go a good 5-6 hours.

I wouldn’t have an issue with his need for contact nap for his daytime sleep but it means for several hours in the day I have to sit on the sofa and I can’t keep on top of the household chores and more importantly I’m not able to give my 4 year old the attention he wants on the days his home with me (he goes to nursery 3 days a week thankfully) and I feel so guilty. My husband will help when his home from work to give me a break and allow me to get on with things but he is also finding it hard as he has to work in the evenings to meet his deadlines so it’s affecting how efficient he can be too.

I guess what I want to know, when will his need for contact naps stop? I know they go through a big change with regards to sleep around 4 months so I’m hoping I can anticipate a change then? If your baby only wanted to be held, was there anything you did to help them sleep more independently even if it was just for one nap in the day?

I should probably mention, he suffers with reflux and is a pretty gassy baby, I don’t know if this links to his need to held?

He is very different from first born son, who generally would allow you to put him down drowsy and would happily sleep in his bouncer or pram or Moses basket in the day time, and if he stirred a quick pat or stroke of the face would send him back to sleep! maybe he was actually just a very easy baby?

sorry if I posted in the wrong thread…

😅

The gas and reflux could absolutely be the issue. Does his symptoms sound like these?

Thank you for replying. He doesn’t have tounge tie or feeding issues, so I don’t think it’s related to that.

I have a similar situation - my baby is 16 weeks and most naps are contact naps, which does make entertaining my toddler tricky!
A couple of weeks ago I started putting him down in his next to me crib for his first nap of the day as this is generally the easiest one to get them to sleep on their own for. I do the same sort of routine as if he’s going down to bed for the night - white noise, dark room, sleeping bag, feeding. Once he’s finished his feed I put him in his crib and hope he settles! Sometimes he takes a while to go to sleep and I have to pop his dummy in a couple of times. Others he settles fairly quickly. There’s been a couple of times when he wouldn’t settle so got him up and did that as a contact nap instead, then just tried again the next day. I think just being consistent helps.
Also do you ever do naps in the carrier? I try to do his afternoon nap in the carrier so I can go out with my toddler or play at home with him. Also means you can do some housework whilst he naps.
This is just what has been working for us recently. I can very much relate to you and it is hard. I’m just trying to remember that things always change, each stage is temporary so not to get too caught up in it. Like in a couple of months he’ll be in more of a predictable routine with less naps and maybe they’ll be in his crib, so trying to enjoy the contact for now. Easier says than done sometimes!