5 mo old awake hourly all night long. GOING INSANE. HELP!

[lilimama]

Totally sleep deprived, something has to change.
Have tried everything. He has never slept for longer than 3 hours since born and over last thee weeks things have gone from bad to worse. Now awakes every 45 mins to an hour, sometimes 1.5 hours if we're lucky and only the breast gets him back off. Have tried babywhisperer tricks to no avail. screams the house down and goes red in face, major tears and screaming til he can't breathe.... and it never works, just goes on like this for an hour. it kills me. don't know what to do, my life is becoming a big confused mess, can't make even simple decisions anymore. Done the dummy thing, done shifting bedtimes, he gets more than his recommended amount of milk (breast with a big formula feed before bed) during the day.
Any other tips? He is by the way a very very active boy, almost crawling, couldn't keep him off the solids any longer and he eats half a banana and a bit of carrot etc everyday (Rapley method). have wondered if it's the solids but he doesn't seem to be in pain or colic. oh god please help us.

I don't know much about it but a friend's dd has been referred for cranial osteopathy for similar behaviour and it appears to be helping a lot. Someone on here will now more about it. Good luck x

Hi Lilimama,

I was just about to suggest cranial osteopathy like Pardon.

My DS found beneficial and I've heard other mums say its really worked for their babies...

www.cranial.org.uk/page3.html

Well worth a try.

Good luck
Sallypoo

Oh lilimama, poor you. You must be exhausted.

I posted on another thread about the xperiences of a friend who had a sleep specialist come and help her out. Took loads of willpower and determination though. Will see if I can find it and cut and paste.

Another friend did cranio-osteo but her child was older. I think, it worked up to a point but lots of her ds' problems were behavioural and needed more of a behavioural approach. Just my thoughts, I don't have any particular knowledge! And easy to say as I've had a full nights sleep.

Here it is. Do you think you could do this? The lady who came felt that their dd just had not learnt to settle herself as she was breast fed to sleep or put in the sling:

A friend of mine had this problem with her 5mth dd. Her dd was always unhappy, couldn't be given to anyone to hold, would only fall asleep in a sling and wake at night and take hours to resettle. Hated buggy too.

They tried hair dryer, hoover sound, car seat, walking for hours, etc

At the end of their tether, they had a sleep specialist come for 3 days and at end she settled herself in cot in day and at night. She was immediately much more happy and gurgly. I don't think I had really seen her dd smile up until then.

This is gist of what she did over the weekend. (don't shoot me down, just giving the info!): Don't let dd sleep in in am's. Think they were aiming for short nap mid morning and two hour sleep early afternoon and sleep through night with feed if required but that dd would be put in bed awake and settle herself to sleep.

When should be awake stimulate her with toys and keep her awake until you want her to nap. When she should be asleep, persevere with them in cot, by what ever means i.e. going in soothing, stroking but don't pick up. Once nap time over (whether sleeps or not), get dd up and keep awake until next nap/bedtime.

Apparently, the first over night was dreadful and she was awake for most of night but from next day, she has pretty much slept and settled herself (with a few blips!).

Her dd is now always happy, smiling and her parents obviously feel more human and think that one night, although horrible, was worth it.

I think they also established that dd liked to sleep with something half covering her face as it would be in sling against her mum. So she was given a light blanket up high over her chin - loosely!

As I say, only giving info, not saying whether you should do this! Not sure I could have stood it all night but then I was very lucky that my 2 dcs slept well day and night - but then I was paranoid about not feeding them till they went to sleep or holding them when asleep. Not sure if that made any difference though!

thanks for replies. Have been very careful not to let him fall asleep in arms or in sling (unless out shopping etc)and always place him in his bed awake.

Thanks DesperateHousewife....am thinking soft version of CC tho always said I never would. Am Desperate though and everyone I've spoken to about it says it's just a learning process, that he needs to learn how to soothe himself to sleep.

Dashboard....do you mean like a thimblefull of brandy! haha. or a big bowl of porridge!

Another friend went on a sleep course run by health visitors so it might be worth asking yours if they have one. From what I remember (was years ago), it was a controlled crying type approach. Her baby never slept well from birth either.

I definately used principles of cc with both of mine at times e.g. when they had recovered from being ill and were used to the attention when woke at night. NCT friends also used it. I think whatever approach you choose, you have to stick to your guns and agree with your other half what you are going to do. Sometimes coming from a postion of desperation is not a bad thing.

Your lo sounds just like mine. Extremely active and into life. Mine also got into a cycle of waking frequently. The exhaustion's a killer I know, so it's obvious the cycle has to be broken. Personally I'd avoid CC. I'd bet a soft version won't work anyway, so you'd either have to go for it and leave him for hours to scream or not bother. I'd bet you won't be able to do that and it'll make both of you more stressed.
I did a version of what desperate's friend was advised to do. I put a makeshift bed in his room on the floor next to his cot. That way as soon as he woke I was there. I never lifted him, or fed him, but gently put my hand on his tummy or stroked his hair and hummed softly. He raged for hours the first couple of nights (honestly it was horrendous), but then started getting the idea, that he did get fed/ picked up when it was time for that. Also, that I was there and did care, but that if I didn't pick him up the only real thing to do was to calm and listen to my humming and let me stroke him and go back to sleep. Within I'd say a week, he was calming within a few minutes of waking and falling back to sleep more easily. Not long after, I realised that as long as I got there as soon as he woke he barely mumbled before he went back to sleep. Definitely after two weeks, he was waking far less as his sleep was deeper and he was a far calmer baby. Once he'd got it, I moved back to my own bed. It did take a while, but it felt loving and right for my son. I really do think stress and tiredness was our only problem, as once he'd calmed he slept. Take care. I really really hope you get more sleep soon. x

hope op doesnt mind but smee - can i ask how you knew when he did need to be fed/picked up. my ds has never slept for particularly long stretches - is now 10 months and i have resorted to having him in bed with me as i can't do without sleep for much longer and its the only way so far thats worked.

thing is, he can settle himself at the start of the evening - just doesnt seem to be able to sometimes in the middle of the night, so i never know if i should feed him, or if now he's 10months he should be able to go through without milk.

sorry if that hikacks the op, but i liked smee's suggested method.

lillimama - your first line struck a chord with me and I feel like i have given up slightly by having him in bed with us pretty much every night now at some point.

CT, my son was like yours. First three months he'd only sleep on me and I bf him on demand and it became his comfort thing. He also had colic so needed lots of holding. He was nearly a year when I hit on this - no longer colicky, just tetchy and a lousy sleeper.
I decided I needed to impose a more rigid routine, so read Baby Whisperer and used her timetable as to when he should sleep/ how many feeds. Out of all those books she seemed the most baby centred and sensible to me. Once decided, I stuck to that as to when to feed/ put to bed, etc. Consistency seemed to help him settle - though at first he really protested, as he was used to having me when he wanted me... Good luck - I honestly never want to go back to those days. I have never felt so insane. There is life on the other side though, I promise.

Are you sure it's not teeth? Or ear infection? Or cold? Or heat? (Or something else?) Both DCs have done this at different stages and I've usually been embarrassed to realise that they weren't being difficult but it was something treatable (which didn't show in the daytime because they were too busy to care).

lilimama, both my dcs are like yours - hourly wakings. With dd, it all went to pot around the 5 month mark as well. For her, the trigger was separation anxiety. For your ds, it could be the fact that he is about to crawl. Developmental milestones can play havoc with sleep. It is as if their minds are racing and so sleep becomes elusive. Later teething will also disrupt their sleep.

I did not have the appetite for cc. My dcs have strong wills so I felt that for cc to work with them, it would involve breaking their spirit, which is not anything I want to be a part of.

To cut a long story short, I took them into my bed and co-sleep. For dd, it was a big step. When ds came along, I liked it so much I continued the grand tradition with him.

are you sure its not teeth. had this with my DS at this stage and some calpol in the night worked very well.