Toddler tantrums - When do they become a cause for concern?

[VillageFete]

Hi,

Mum of 3 - thought I had it all figured out and along came my youngest daughter… she’s 24 months and quite frankly makes our lives hell!

No real concerns about development. She enjoys playgroup, instigates play with other children, points loads, shows us things of interest, language is good, she will tell us what she wants (ie- drink and points at a cup) Sometimes she speaks in 3-4 word sentences but not regularly yet.

Sleep is excellent but she’s in the process of dropping her daytime nap.

Her tantrums - wow. Honestly they are explosive, they last longer than average, she isn’t easily distracted. They’re super intense tantrums and she’s started to bite me when in temper. She whinges a hell of a lot too. I would say her tantrums are excessive too, we get multiple per day. She’s such hard work and it’s making the older kids miserable. If we plan days out, guaranteed she will ensure they’re not enjoyable.

I don’t remember them being this intense with my older 2 kids. They also seem to get worse if she’s bored/not stimulated, or if she’s tired, which is understandable.

At what point do you start to question if these are typical toddler tantrums or if we need to think about something else potentially playing a part (ASD/ADHD?) Are some kids just terrible tantrum throwers but go on to develop into happy, content kids?

She isn’t in childcare yet, I take her to playgroup, but she does start nursery next month.

Honestly our household feels so deflated.

Sorry that you didn’t get any responses at the time @VillageFete. How are you getting on now?

I remember my daughter was like this for a while but then it calmed down when she was able to communicate better. Its probably boundary pushing and will ease as she gets a bit older. Stay strong, I know it can be so hard when tantrums are ruling the day.

Length would be a concern, for example a tantrum isn't a tantrum if it lasts 45 to an hour for example and they can't be calmed or distracted with something else. That is more of a meltdown.

Well she’s 2 years and 4 months now and still very hard work!! Cries, whinges and moans ALOT. Usually it’s when we are at home, she seems to need a lot of stimulation. She’s much easier when out and about seeing the world.

She’s bitten me twice this week. Sometimes she goes to bite and then pulls away. She doesn’t bite in nursery though, just at home!

Everything at the moment is “No, I don’t like it” And there’s hell to pay if you cut her fruit up or give her the wrong cup.

I’d say she’s advanced with speech. She speaks in more or less full sentences, and blows my mind with how much she seems to understand- she’s very observant.

Her tantrums aren’t over quickly but also don’t last excessively long. She’s at her worst when tired and usually she calms down if you give her a dummy or her “snuggly”