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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Does the nursery think I'm not helping my daughters speech disorder ?

39 replies

mummyloveslucy · 09/06/2008 17:57

Hi, my 3.5 year old daughter has a speech disorder and although she knows a lot of language and understands most things, her words sound so distorted that unless you spend a lot of time with her you wouldn't know what she was saying.
She is having speech therapy at the moment every week. The nursery are very keen to help her and make ther speech therapy sheets in to games etc. The problem is the nursery have been adding different sounds for Lucy to learn eg, the therapist would teach words ending with P, but the nursery add words ending with S too. The speech therapist said that she wasn't keen on them jumping ahead.
Any way, I recieved a note in Lucys school bag saying "could you please please practice Good Morning with Lucy tonight."
I don't see what the urgency is for her to say that? She does say it all the time but of corse it sounds very distorted. She says "do war wee". I've tried practicing it with her but she says the same every time. She can't even break it down in to bits. It is simply too hard for her to say (properly). I say it too her every day and she knows the words. I just got the feeling from that note that the nursery think I'm not helping her with her speech. If it was as easy as that, she would be talking perfectly. My Husband and I and all our family talk very clearly and we are always talking to Lucy. I just don't know what to make of it.
I have her parents evening tommorrow, do you think I should say somthing? and what should I say?
I'd be really greatful for any advice.

OP posts:

CarGirl · 09/06/2008 18:02

I think you need to remind the nursery that they should be following the speech therapists recommendations, not the nursery trying to lead the way IYSWIM.

I know my dds speech therapy was very basic like, d (pause) og, d (pause onkey) etc etc etc So Good Morning would be g (pause) ood morning (ie not making an effort with morning yet.

TotalChaos · 09/06/2008 18:12

I would very tempted to send a note back in to nursery simply saying "Why?" in response to the good morning one! Agree with cargirl - or if necessary rat on nursery to the speech therapist and get her to talk to them. It's good they are so keen to help her, but obviously it's sensible if they do follow the professional advice!

Original poster

mummyloveslucy · 09/06/2008 18:14

You're right. No matter how hard I try she can't make the "g" sound, never mind any other sounds in the word. She gets frustrated very easily and tearful if she is made to repeat over and over a word that she knows she can't get right. I don't want it to affect her confidence.

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Littlefish · 09/06/2008 18:17

I would do as CarGirl says and remind the nursery that you are working under the specialist guidance of the speech and language therapist. Remind them that you are working to his/her programme for your dd and ask them to do the same.

If you don't have any joy, ask the S&L therapist to contact the nursery.

CarGirl · 09/06/2008 18:17

Which letter (s) has the speech therapist said she should be working on? Take a list with you and tell the nursery these are the only letters dd should be working on at the moment so stop slowing down her progress with interfering!!!! Perhaps more politely put. I think "g" is one of the very tricky sounds for them.

misdee · 09/06/2008 18:17

tell the nursery not to be so daft.

dd2 is still on S and Sh sounds after two years with SALT

MrsTittleMouse · 09/06/2008 18:17

Could the speech therapist send them a recommendation? I would be really frustrated with them, they're trying to make her run before she can walk, which obviously isn't helpful. If you could go in with the plan from the therapist and insist that they follow it, it might have more clout that just saying that you're not going to teach her "good morning" because it's too hard for her (even though you're right!).

MrsTittleMouse · 09/06/2008 18:18

Cross posted with everyone else!

gagarin · 09/06/2008 18:18

Take copies of the speech therapy reports in to the nursery and the telephone number of the speech therapist.

Ask the speech therapist to phone the nursery manager and to send them a copy of what your dd should currently be concentrating on learning.

The nursery must think they are helping - so let them help by getting them more invovled?

Original poster

mummyloveslucy · 09/06/2008 18:21

The nursery are very strict on manners which is good in a way but they always say Good morning Lucy every morning and expect her to say it back. "Good morning mrs ...." to be exact. The teachers name is also very hard to say. Lucy tends to either go shy and not answer or mumble quickly in her own way, good morning. I agree mannars are important but not at the expence of distroying her confidence surely.

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LittleMissTickles · 09/06/2008 18:23

Hi MummylovesLucy, I agree with the most recent posters, ask her SALT to phone the nursery and follow it up with some 'homework' for them to do with her. I wouldn't discourage them in any other way, as they are actually making an effort, which is good really. I am a physiotherapist, and often get requests like this, it is part of the job, and I'm sure your SALT will be happy to help out.

LittleMissTickles · 09/06/2008 18:24

And her 'do war wee' is definitely good enough for now!

SmugColditz · 09/06/2008 18:27

They are working on their own agenda - they want her to say good morning clearly. This is nothing to do with what is good for Lucy, and everything to do with what they want.

I think you need to call a meeting and be VERY firm with them regarding following professional advice. They are NOT speech and language professionals, they do NOT know best, and they need to be stopped before they do some damage!

They should NOT be pushing her further than the speech therapists think she should be pushed. It can cause all sorts of anxiety in the child, and it is a risk they should NOT be taking!

Original poster

mummyloveslucy · 09/06/2008 18:29

Thank you! I think it sounds sweet.
It does anoy me that they would make it sound so urgent that she learns good morning. Do they expect her to come in tommorrow and say it perfectly ? I really wish it was that easy.

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misdee · 09/06/2008 18:30

can u teach her to sign/makaton good morning? and use that alongside her own way of saying good morning?

Original poster

mummyloveslucy · 09/06/2008 18:33

You are right SmugColdits. I might have a word with the speech therapist and tell her what they have written and ask her advice. I don't want to offend the nursery as they are lovely people, and it's attached to the school Lucy will be going to.

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LittleMissTickles · 09/06/2008 18:33

Mmmm, signing along with do war wee is a good idea I think. How would Lucy feel about that do you think?

Original poster

mummyloveslucy · 09/06/2008 18:37

Before I started seeing the speech therapist I decided to teach Lucy some makaton. She loved it and picked it up quickly, but stopped talking all together. She used it as an excuse not to talk.

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Original poster

mummyloveslucy · 09/06/2008 18:40

The speech therapist hasn't mentioned makaton at all, and nursery don't use it so it would be more of the same.(only me being able to understand her!)

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LittleMissTickles · 09/06/2008 18:40

Oh, then not good. Again, the SALT will be best to advise. I think, if possible, it is best to just keep talking and doing the homework in as lighthearted a way as possible, don't allow this to become a huge issue in her life. It is wonderful that she is getting help from such a young age, and you seem like a lovely lovely mum.

Original poster

mummyloveslucy · 09/06/2008 18:44

Daaw, Thank you!

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BabaYaga · 09/06/2008 18:49

IME, our SALT had to liase with the nursery and spoke to them directly regarding what they should be doing to help dd, so I agree with the others that you should speak to the SALT and ask her to speak to the nursery staff. ~The most important thing is that your daughter is happy at nursery, and besides if she is saying 'do war wee' to them every morning then she clearly has excellent manners .

(If it's any comfort, dd's nursery teacher seemed to think we didn't speak to her at all and actually suggested we might like to spend some time playing games and jigsaws with her!!)

TinySocks · 09/06/2008 18:50

Try not to be too hard on the nursery, I think it is fantastic that they are trying to help her. My DS's nursery don't make any extra effort to help him (he has a GDD).

However I do think you need to talk to them, they could hinder your little one's confidence if they insist on her saying something she is just not ready for.

I took my DS to a school a few months back (long story), and the teacher kept saying to him "Good morning DS" "Ds please say good morning". I had to remind her that he could only just say single words!!!

CarGirl · 09/06/2008 18:51

perhaps tell the nursery you will encourage Lucy to say "do war wee" more confidently provided they are going to praise her effort and recognise that is her saying good morning.

Original poster

mummyloveslucy · 09/06/2008 18:53

BabaYaga- I know, They think if a child has any difficulties then the parents must be doing somthing wrong. It sucks!

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