Since dd started nursery last year she will not eat any meals I make

[Ilovebunting]

And finishes nursery for good on Thurs. Am petrified! The thought of 3 months of "I hate your lovingly prepared food!" is giving me the heeby jeebies! I want to do everything from scratch as I used to when I was a SAHM, but no longer know what she will or won't eat. She loves boiled eggs, the occasional bit of pizza, fruit and carrots. And ice pops. She used to eat anything I put in front of her, but has lunch and tea at nursery so tends to just have a fruit snack at home, and eats with her dad at the weekend or if she is with me eats tomato soup, toast, and boiled eggs. Am thinking if I get her to help me make the meal she might get more into it, but am so scared!! She always has second helpings at nursery, but if I make the same thing she "hates it!"

She eats at nursery because everyone else eats. I would serve family meals together , putting veg in a dish so that she can help herself. If she doesn't eat it don't make any comment, don't get drawn into any food arguments-just take it or leave it.Don't let her make it an issue. Do not have snacks.If she is hungry she will eat.

Thank you AbbeyA. It is just me and dd, so we always sit down together and eat at the table. I've cleared the house of most snacks because I've put on a lot of weight recently , and if I make sure we do a lot of high energy activities she will get hungry by the time we get back (hopefully!). She loves packing her own lunches on days out, so that may help too if we have a day out in London or something? My mum would have killed me if she had seen dd refusing food-we ate what we had in those days [nostalgic emoticon]!

Making her own packed lunches is probably a help. If it is just the 2 of you she might do better if she helps you get it ready. I am sure that she gets on and eats it at nursery because it is expected and everyone gets on with it. She probably senses that you are anxious about it.

If you can stop being scared, that will help. Tell yourself that nothing dreadful will happen if she has to go hungry now and then. Your Mum isn't peering over your shoulder. You can get on with your own parenting.
But I would clamp down very strongly on any rudeness on your daughter's part. Eating sparingly of something you don't like is ok- telling the cook that it's awful and you hate it is not ok. Just tell her calmly not to be rude. Otherwise, as Abbey says, no arguments.
My ds has gone through a fussy phase, and seemed to live on very little, but has stayed healthy and growing throughout, and is now beginning to emerge. I do not pander to his tastes all the time: I will make sure I cook his favourites from time to time, and I generally avoid the two of three things he hates most, but otherwise I cook what is cheap and convenient (and what the rest of us like) and if he won't eat, that's just tough.

How about inviting around a friend who is a good eater? At this age they copy a lot of what their friends do.

Agree with abbeya and cory, don't let it become an issue. If she refuses your meal, just take it away and don't give her anything until next mealtime. My ds went without tea on quite a few occasions and had nothing until breakfast with no harm done. He eats well now although stiil complains whilst eating!

Let her help you make the food too.

It'll be fine, eat together, and don't stress when she inevitable exerts her toddler-randomness control issues. Just enjoy food with her and try not to worry.

I remember a little boy at my son's nursery telling me that he never ate fish that Mummy cooked, but was enthusiastically tucking in there!! Children often eat well in groups. I think sometimes young children say they hate food in one place because it is differently prepared somewhere else. This is no excuse to be rude about your cooking though. Just continue to offer meals as usual, make no comment about what she has eaten or how much. Don't let her know you are anxious about meals, or plead with her to eat, or resort to feeding her (yes, I have seen a mother spoon feeding her 5 yo in an attempt to get her to eat!!!)

Do get her to help with food preparation, and eat together.