How to manage hitting when it doesn’t stem from anger?

[MarsMama17]

Hi,

So I have a newly turned 3 year old boy. He’s always been prone to just randomly throwing things, mouthing random things (including people) and running over a giving you a smack then running off. Since he could move he’s been this way.
I’ve found as he’s getting older the tirade of smacking and kicking is becoming a lot to handle.

My problem is it always seems unprovoked? He’s not angry, he’s not bored etc. he just does it. Over and over again l. Hitting and kicking, especially the face and even scratching & pinching.
Its now moved into nursery and they say it’s unprovoked as well.

I feel like I’ve tried all the tricks in trying to managing it but I’m finding because I don’t understand why he’s doing it, it feels harder to deal with?

Please if anyone’s child is the same or has any advice, let me know. Thank you

I should also add his speech is really good, he can communicate his needs really well.

My son was like this throughout nursery and when he started reception - I bought the ‘Behaviour Matters’ book collection from Amazon and I do believe these helped. Also helps when kids are able to recognise their emotions (look up Zones Of Regulation) and letting them know immediately if they’ve made a red (bad) or green (good) choice

Firstly I would do this simple progress checker, just to rule out any little frustrations with communication.

I also agree with the PP about getting sone tools to help him although Zones of Regulation is usually for ages 5+ avd is often used in Schools.

You could try The Feelings Book.

This article from Dr Sears might help as it encourages you to look for a pattern and deal with the biting in a gentle way. Having said that my DD only stopped when my DF saw ger do it to me and was so stern wirh her tgat she cried. I don’t think she had ever seen him be anything but totally smiling and chilled with her before. The shock stopped her completely.

Let us know how he does on the progress checker

Sorry I posted a little prematurely there. If he’s displaying this behaviour in Nursery, how are they dealing with it and have they suggested anything?

If he is biting/mouthing do toh think he has a need to chew? Have a look at Chewelry. Having that instead might just fulfil his neex to bite or mouth an object.