Fibbing!

[looneymum]

Hi All, wanted your advice on my DD1 (age 6) she has always been a "spirited" child and I find her hard work.. she has gromits and wears glasses so has had a few things to deal with in her little life. Also, DH left in December for another women with 2 small kids. The thing is, she has started to fib about all sorts of stuff.. she did a wee in the garden and insisted she hadn't, she hides stuff, any way, lots of stuff that I just don't know how to deal with. If I was honest, and I know this is going to sound horrid, I sometimes just don't care much for her... god that sounds hards... she winds me up.... when I ask her what is wrong she wont answer and it does my head in..... I also have DD2 (age 3).. and they have usual type of rivalry but nothing special.... all pearls of wisdom gratefully received! x

They say that fibbing shows intellegence. I know that dosn't really help you thoug. I surgest spending some time alone with your daughter, get a babysitter for the little one if you can and spend some quality time just the two of you. This may help to strengthen your relationship.
If you can, make it a regular thing, somthing you can both look forward to.
Always remember to prais her for being good. Any attention is better than no attention to a child. I know it's hard but try not to get too het up about her lying etc, she obviously feels very insecure at the moment and needs time space and most importantly, your love.

I'm no expert but agree that it sounds like attention-seeking behaviour.

Christopher Green's "Raising Happy Children" has a good couple of pages on lying if you can get it out of the library.

In summary it says -

It's important that your child can distinguish between fantasy and reality and that they learn to tell the truth when it matters. In order to achieve this it helps to:

Talk about lying - be clear that truth is important

Recognise the power of a child's imagination - talk about dreams and thoughts - explain what is real what is not

Encourage truth telling - avoid punishing child for telling the truth however hard the truth is to hear!

Set an example - if you tell a white lie explain why

Let them know you know - important - so it doesn't become a habit. If you catch them lying say calmly, "I saw you hide those keys, what shall we do to put it right?"

Use humour - ouch your nose is growing again!!

Sorry to hear you are going through such a tough time x

BTW - my dd (nearly 5) has started to hide things like the keys and phone because she knows I'm a bit obsessive when it comes to putting stuff away and it is certain to get me riled! They always get you where it hurts most ....