name calling and leaving out at nursery

[MrsLukaKovac]

ds1 4.2 is at nursery every afternoon. He had a hard time settling in as he is very articulate and speaks in a very adult way, and is also very sensative and finds social interaction with other children quite hard. Anyway, he has been making progress and is getting more relaxed around other children, but in the past has not joined in and also shyed away from other kids. As a result I think friendships have formed and he is not part of them.
Yesterday we were leaving and one of the girls there said to her big sister as we walked past 'Look there's BAD 'ds1', I don't like him'.

ds1 heard and is v upset. Am I over reacting to be upset too?! Do children this age say things filppantly like this all the time, or should I be worried that she says things like this to him at nursery? He struggles with self esteem and he really takes things like this to heart.

thanks for any advice/experience!

I think this is the sort of thing kids this age do all the time.
When my oldest DD was in her final year at nursery the girls all seemed to dislike the boys, not for any reason, just on principle.
I dont think that kids this age are overly choosy about who they play with, so i wouldnt think that cliques would have formed excluding him.
My oldest DD is 5 now, and I know that she (and all her friends) will from time to time insist that they have no friends/ no-one to play with etc. It has always been unfounded as far as I am aware. I think that for children this age 5 minutes spent alone with no-one to play with would be enough to make them tell you that everybody hates them.

Yes, I agree. They are always saying things about each other that are 'socially unacceptable' as they just don't know any better at this age. 4 year olds are not the best at seeing other peoples points of view or not wanting to hurt their feelings. I really wouldn't worry about this comment. I would try and engineer some friendships by taking a classmate to soft play or home to tea in order to help your ds. My ds is really quite shy and I take her to dancing lessons and swimming lessons so she is around different people.

I agree, kids say that kind of thing.
Try not to worry too much, he will make more friends when he's in school.