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Please help me understand why my DD lied about doing something she didn't to not get in trouble?

4 replies

jogym · 06/06/2008 18:16

My DD (8) told me today that she got in trouble in school after another girl in her class told teacher she spat on her. It involved an incident where a P7 was giving out sweets. DD told this girl that this other girl was only giving sweets to the children in the blue team (sports day) and then this girl told teacher that DD spat on her. DD was asked did you spit, tell the truth or you will be sent to (principal) so she said she did spit to avoid having to go to the principal. WHY WHY!! She says the principal shouts really loud if you're sent to him and she seems petrified of this. I should add that I have had incidents outside school with the girl. My DD and another friend have been told to stay away from her as she was getting them into trouble ie asking if they were allowed to say the f word, spitting in my garden, also on another occasion saying my DD punched her in the stomach. She seems to me to be making up stories.

I am so annoyed about this so I rang to speak to the teacher and she said she believed my DD did spit as she admitted it. I tried to explain why she admitted it and I also told about the incidents out of school. She said then that her judgement was clouded as she didn't know about this and in future to let them know about these things. I am so annoyed with DD for admitting to something she didn't do and getting herself into trouble. Why would she do that. I have tried to explain you always tell the truth ALWAYS and that I am annoyed with her for letting another spiteful little girl get her into trouble.

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bubblagirl · 06/06/2008 18:23

maybe she was worried about other girl also if she said she didnt do it

would the other girl have picked on her for it hope your dd is ok it is horrible to feel you have to do something you dont want to do equally horrible to have someone picking on you

objectivity · 06/06/2008 18:28

The Principle shouts? Great discipline technique there .

I'd approach this from the angle that fear is not the way to promote good behaviour- your daughter's lying is evidence of this.

jogym · 06/06/2008 18:30

I have been going on like some mad thing and am sure have made it worse. The teacher showed herself to me in a very different light! She kept saying Mrs * to me every sentence and am afraid I said please stop saying my name I know what it is LOL but she was very abrupt straight away and believed my DD did do this even though she didn't see anything.

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jogym · 06/06/2008 18:34

Well he doesn't look the fearful type but he must use a raised voice to put his point across not something an 8 year old wants to confront. DD said he said to her sometimes I spit when I'm talking why didn't teacher mention this. By the way she was sent to another class whose teacher said she was v disappointed in her and a black mark in the book for bad things that happen!

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