26 Month Old Behaviour Help

[MyFairSheep]

I’m really hoping for some advice or reassurance because I’m finding things quite tough at the moment with my little boy, who’s nearly 26 months. Ever since he turned two, his behaviour has become really challenging. He’s started slapping me and his dad, and lately he’s begun doing the same to other family members too. He often pulls my hair really hard — sometimes to the point where I can’t get him to let go, and he’s pulled clumps out a few times. He’s also been throwing toys at us and even at our cats. The hardest part is that he seems to find it funny, especially when we tell him off.

I always tell him “no” and try to explain that hitting, throwing, and pulling hair isn’t okay, and I often remove myself from the situation to calm things down. I’ve also tried to explain why it’s wrong, though I know he’s still very young and might not fully understand yet.

He’s also been spitting out his water or juice for a while now — it actually started before he turned two. I usually take his bottle away and say “no spitting,” but recently it’s gotten worse. He’ll now deliberately run over to me or whoever’s nearby and spit it out on us.

I just feel really worn down by it all. I try so hard to do fun things with him — playing together at home, going to the park, or setting up little activities — but it often only lasts a few minutes before the hitting, spitting, and throwing start again. It’s really beginning to affect me emotionally, and I just don’t know what else to try.

If anyone has been through something similar or has any advice, I’d be so grateful to hear it. ❤️

I can understand totally why you’re finding this distressing.

Firstly, and I say this gently, the way you’re talking to him is not appropriate. You’re talking to him like he’s a much older child. Not many two year olds are going to understand am explanation of why their behaviour is wrong or be interested of they miraculously can understand.

A “No!” And removing yourself from the room so he immediately associates hurting people with all attention being removed.

Have you noticed any triggers? For instance, tiredness or hunger?

This article from Dr Sears might help.

How is his speech and language? It might be worth checking as sometimes a delay isn’t always obvious.

And has anything happened before the change in behaviour, like a change at nursery or an illness?

Has he had his 2 year check yet and did you discuss his behaviour with the HV avd did she give you any advice on dropping the bottles too?

Thank you for your response.

I completely understand he’s too young still to understand an explanation into why he shouldn’t do these things. I did note this in my post. He’s my first child so I’m trying every avenue at the moment as nothing seems to work.

I do tell him “No” and remove myself however he stands and laughs at me. Once I return, he continues the same.

I haven’t noticed many triggers to be honest. When he does this behaviour, I offer him something to eat - which is usually launched at me. Or even a sleep he also won’t take. He sleeps well and has around an hour and half nap. He doesn’t seem overly tired to me.
I have noticed that when we tend to be out and about like soft play or park etc he doesn’t do these things but as soon as we get home he starts right away.

His speech is OK, he says many words and knows how to ask for things he wants.
He isn’t at nursery yet, not due to start until January He also hasn’t had any illnesses recently. It was almost like a switch as soon as he turned 2.

We haven’t seen our health visitor yet for his 2 year check. He also doesn’t still have a bottle of milk, he hasn’t since he was just over a year. Only water and occasionally juice.

I will read the article you have sent, thank you!

Oh, that's so tough on you! That said, I'd go very simple, very consistent. He hits/bites/etc., 'Ouch! No hitting', pop him somewhere safe but preferably a bit boring (playpen, hallway, cot if necessary), and leave him for a minute or two (not too long, he's only tiny). The lift him out, continue your day as normal. He does it again, rinse and repeat. Don't offer food or sleep unless it's his usual meal/snack/nap time. By trying different things, you'll inadvertently be making it more interesting to him – he's exploring cause and effect and his ability to influence the world. So it needs to be deadly dull – same short phrase, couple boring minutes by himself, over and over and over again.

With the spitting water, yes, consistently remove the cup/bottle if he spits. If he's spitting at a person, you could follow up with the same 'no spitting', couple boring minutes approach as above. Or you might prefer to offer drinks very regularly or restrict where the water bottle goes rather than free access just now – then you can at least ensure he's in the kitchen if he does it!