controlled crying.

[wait68]

Hi , has anyone seen this article about controlled crying? I came across it and was left wondering....
askdrsears.com/html/10/handout2.asp.

It is a very interesting article BUT controlled crying is not leaving your baby alone to cry. When you do controlled crying you always go in every few minutes but just make sure that you put them down again. Repeating this as many times as it takes for the DC to go to sleep. They need to know you are still there and that you haven't left them. Did controlled crying with all three of my DS and they all slept through from 3 months old. But I never left them to cry for more than 5mins at a time.

Thanks for the advice. Had mine crying last night for about 10 minitus and even thu he was sleeping next to me and he just turned one I got quite worried when I read the article.

Interesting article. Also very spooky. As a Truby King baby I was left to cry very very frequently. Not controlled crying but shut-in-the-bedroom-out-of-the-way crying, or pram-at-the-bottom-of-the-garden crying.

"Researchers at Yale University and Harvard Medical School found that intense stress early in life can alter the brain?s neurotransmitter systems and cause structural and functional changes in regions of the brain similar to those seen in adults with depression." I have suffered from depression since my teens.

"Dr. Bruce Perry?s research found when chronic stress over-stimulates an infant?s brain stem (the part of the brain that controls adrenaline release), and the portions of the brain that thrive on physical and emotional input are neglected (such as when a baby is repeatedly left to cry alone), the child will grow up with an over-active adrenaline system. Such a child will display increased aggression, impulsivity, and violence later in life because the brainstem floods the body with adrenaline and other stress hormones at inappropriate and frequent times."

This is the worst one. I had 2 years of group therapy because I had this rage all the time. Everybody and everything upset me. Driving provoked huge adrenaline rushed if anyone pulled out in front of me/ cut me up etc etc. I have been "cured" since 2003 but since DD2 was born in 2007 it's all come back. Now I have a reason

My parents were (and still are!) very pro - shutting the door and leaving no matter what. Might explain my absolute refusal to ever leave DS to cry, I found it really affected me terribly and I had to pick him up straight away.

I used to go to ds when he cried and we got into a loop so that by 10 months of waking 3 or 4 times a night i was getting desperate. Eventually one awful night of being up and down and not sleeping til 4AM things changed. I had been doing the controlled crying and it wasn't working. Eventually i was so exhausted and at the end of my tether and i let him cry himself to sleep. It took 45 mins and i still remember it as a really awful, nailbiting, misterable, every-minute-an-hourexperience. But soon after he started sleeping better in the day and night and a couple of months later he was usually sleeping through the night and 5 months later he sleeps for 2hrs in the PM and 10 or 11 uninterrupted hours at night. We are both much healthier and better rested.

I was left to scream my head off. They did try to comfort me, but I was a colicky baby and never stopped, so eventually, I was put down and left before my mother killed me!

It may have changed my brainstem, i don't know, but it certainly saved my life.

Well, I was NEVER left to cry as a baby as I was one of those annoyingy good, placid little babies that rarely cried but I still have a lot of rage and anger. I have never ever been able to leave my ds to cry for more than a few minutes but he's such a grumpy wee thing, I doubt it could make him any more unhappy

It's an interesting article but we have no proof or evidence to suggest that they wouldn't have grown up to be the same, regardless of if they were left to cry. My sister was a grumpy, screamy baby who was occassionally left to scream, yet she is far more balanced and was never an angry or violent child.

I think it depends on personality to be honest.

I was brought up in an era when people didn't leave children to cry but am still quite capable of getting very angry at small things depending on my mood. Some people would call me grumpy.So maybe what we become depends on many other factors

it's not only about leaving them to cry. i think it also depends on the whole parenting attitude. for example, children may be more affected if they are left to cry at night AND have little physical contact/cuddle during the day.

I wouldn't do CC or CIO (unless i get very desperate at 2 years ) but i've seen some happy toddlers who have been left to cry at reasonable age but otherwise have very caring parents.

I did CC with ds at about 4 months. The longest he was left for was 15mins I think and it was a gradual build up to that.
If he cries and I'm in the middle of doing something like the washing up or hoovering and he cries, he has to wait a minute till I'm done, unless it a real distress cry otherwise I'd never get anything done. He is a hppy baby most of the time so don't think it has any adverse effect on him.

It's all about what you happy and comfortable doing. I'm not saying it's ok for every baby and i by no means want people to think I'm telling them what to do in these situ's, I tell what I did and I don't expect to be judged for it.
I don't want my son to think he will be picked up the minute he cries and IMO that's what would've happened with him so I do what I think is best for the both of us.
I'm sure I'd feel sick at the thought of some of the things other mum's do but don't think negative comment is my place

I did CC (more like uncontrollable screaming tbh) at 10 months because I just culdn't do no sleep any longer - it took two nights and he's slept through since. He wakes up now and again and we do go in and will feed if he wants it but it needed addressing and we haven't looked back.

I would never leave a child of mine to cry on their own..How on earth could any baby have the capacity to know that you are sitting outside the room timing the crying? Or if you are going to come back at all? My DD1 had horrendous sleep issues it was a nightmare but I never would have considered to leave her to cry on her own in the dark at night. Babies dont have any concept of time either so even 5mins could seem like forever to them.