Struggling with 10 month old

[BeeBee0123]

I feel awful for even writing this but Im really struggling and feel like I just need somewhere to vent and some support.
My daughter is 10 months old, she’s always been a very challenging baby. For the first 4 months she had very bad colic and terrible sleeper. I took her to doctors who thought it could be reflux but medication did not work for that, I took her to see a carapactor which didn’t help, I had her tongue tie snipped as was advised that would help but it didn’t.

Eventually started sleeping better in time (still not great but ok) but she has always been a very unhappy angry baby. She screams and cries all the time, she is very demanding if she doesn’t like something she will have outbursts of anger, even just ramdom outbursts.
She full of screams in anger. She cries in the pram, she cries in the high chair, she cries being put down, she cries in my arms (sometimes other times this is the only way to settle her), she cries in the the baby sling, she cries getting her nappy and clothes changed, She screams if I try off ring her her bottle/food and she’s not ready for it yet.
I am not kidding when I say she is happy for about 30 minutes a day and the rest is awful.

I feel like I have failed as a mum, I don’t understand why she’s so unhappy and what’s wrong with her. All the other baby’s of my friends and family are not where near as bad as her. And it is mentally breaking me.

I have been put on antidepressants by the doctor when she was 4 months old because I’m struggling. I love her so much but I am struggling to bond with her.

I guess I just want to see if people have been through this, will it get better, is there anything I’m missing, what can I do to help her :(.

Oh bless you, youre definitely not doing anything wrong. Does she have any physical symptoms of something like CMPA? I'm sorry its so tough, it will get better, which isnt much consolation while youre currently experiencing it x

It doesn’t sound as though you’re doing anything wrong at all @BeeBee0123

Does your HV know how you feel and has she suggested anything like a group for Mums who need a bit of support or are struggling? We have one in our area, it’s a car trip away from us but I’ve had friends who have found it really useful.

The PP mention CMPA. Has this ever been mentioned to you? If she’s BF have a read of Dairy and other food sensitivities. If she’s FF, which milk is she currently on?

And I think it’s also worth getting her Tongue Tie reassessed

thank You both so much for your replies. She has been on formula for 6 months now I did mention CMPA to my doctor multiple times and they just dismiss it straight away as she has no other symptoms and is gaining weight perfectly.
my mum has been an amazing support and thinks I need to get her ears checked, which is my next step.

Thank you for the advice I will ask my health visitor for some groups I feel that would help my mental health and get the tongue tie relooked at.

I think gaining weight can be a bit of a Ed herring when it comes to allergies. Have a read of this from Allergy UK. Has the GO explained that there are two types of allergy, IGE and non-Ige and she can not meet the criteria for a diagnosis under IGE but have enough symptoms and still get a diagnosis for non-IGE?

Have you had her appointment through yet for her 12 month check yet? Hpw does she score on the 12 month social and emotional Ages & Stages?

And is going back to work an option. It won’t make her any happier but at least you’ll have a bit of normality back in your life

*GP

Please let us know how it goes regarding getting her ears checked. My LO sounds similar in terms of fussiness and constant crying.

How are things this week @BeeBee0123?

Sorry for the delayed response. I took her to the doctors to get her all checked over including her ears and everything came back clear.

However I don’t want to jinx things but the last couple of weeks she’s started walking and seems happier. So I’m thinking maybe a lot of it was down to her wanting a bit of freedom.

Thats brilliant, I am glad you've noticed an improvement. How are you feeling? X

I feel a lot better, some days better then others but definitely slowly getting to a better place , thank you for asking x