What does this sound like? Could it be ADHD, something else?

[Anonymouseky]

I have a 7 year old son who is an absolute whirlwind. His teacher tells me he is doing well academically but he is having trouble staying focussed and he can engage in silly behaviour. This did not surprise me and I’m only surprised none of his other teachers have mentioned it.

Since he was a baby he has been unable to sit still for very long. He always wanted to hold his own bottle, and he used to frequently escape his bouncer chair. He can be very loud and will scream if he is angry or upset about anything. If we are in a public place, he does not appear to be self conscious about anything. He will talk loudly about silly things, pull faces or generally act the fool. He is not in the least bit shy and will talk to anyone. He really struggles to sit still for very long. His brother (who is much quieter) is highly embarrassed by his brothers antics- as am I.

Nothing seems to work consistently. If I try to explain that people may not want to listen to that level of noise, it doesn’t sink in. If I offer sanctions, then he will scream and cry that he want X privilege back (he doesn’t get it back despite the unpleasantness of the screaming). If I warn in advance that if he continues to do X, he will lose X, then sometimes this will help calm him down a little, but not always. I have reward charts and he really enjoys getting stickers and ‘doing well’. He responds very well to praise. He has lovely manners in terms of ‘please’ and ‘thank yous’ but not in the sense of being aware of his social presence/ conduct if that makes sense.

When walking along the pavement on the way out of school, he will wriggle from my hand and run ahead. I am constantly worried he is going to get hurt. He can be very impulsive and doesn’t think about the potential consequences. He will shout across the playground, run around and lark about at pick up, which some other children do too, but he is one of the loudest.

Honestly, this feels like more than just an energetic child or bad behaviour. It feels like he genuinely struggles to control himself. I have another child who is extremely calm, quiet and well behaved. They have been raised exactly the same. I want to help my youngest as I’m worried he will get hurt, or end up in a lot of trouble in the future.

Any advice or shared experiences welcome.

It's really hard to say from your description. However as he doesn't seem right to you, and you are the expert on him, I would start looking into getting him diagnosed. My DC2 was diagnosed age 20: if only we had known by the secondary school years, DC2's path through secondary would have been far better. The good news about ADHD is that it is highly treatable with drugs that millions of people have taken over decades.

It could be, I think it’s worth certainly adking to see his Teacher without him and asking for more detail on how he’s behaving and coping socially as well as academically.

I would also ask for their SENCO to observe him.

I would also read up on ASD as some people with ASD may have little or no sense of danger.

If you do suspect ADHD though, I’d start treating him as though he does have the condition. DC with ADHD can often be operating younger than they actually are, so start to treat him as though he is 5.

Also start talking to him about things to do to make him feel calmer, so self regulation.

He needs exercise and regularly. So walking to school if you can. If you can, try and fit in 10 minutes running or jumping or at the park before school.

See of the School do anything like Zones of Regulation with him now?