My 8 year old pushed her little sister against an ironing board with a hot iron on it when 3 year old accidentally ran against her. She first shouted at her and then pushed her. I managed to grab the hot iron so it didn’t fall on 3year old. It 3yr old’s birthday this weekend and we had a fun day out planned. I thought we could go tomorrow instead while 8year old is at school and have her grandparents pick her up. Her behaviour has been so hard to deal with and I am dreading having to go on this outing that is supposed to be fun with her and deal with meltdowns and constant anger. I know she will be very disappointed but I explained to her if her behaviour improves in the next week we can think about going in a weeks time, that her behaviour is just too much for me to handle at this time. She says she is angry because she wants to spend more time with me so I said to her so why when I have a fun thing planned for us that you are so excited do you get so angry every time we talk about it. Her emotions are just so much, so up and down and she has always been like that. I have always felt like I can’t really relax with her as I don’t know when the next meltdown is coming and I have to constantly be thinking into the future to prevent any meltdowns. Especially if we’re doing something fun, her emotions- good and bad will for sure be extreme and I just want to enjoy some time with my younger daughter without it being about 8year olds temper tantrums. When she wants to she can also be very well behaved, but for some reason last few days since we have been planning this outing her meltdowns have been really hard and her pushing her sister against the iron was just the last straw for me. I think it is more about me not wanting her to ruin this outing on her sisters birthday than about punishing her. What do you all think?