Anxious & angry 4 year old

[Coastal1209]

Looking for some advice/solidarity around my little one.

He started in reception at school in September and is suddenly really anxious about lots of things that didn’t really affect him before. The main ones at the moment are going outside our front door in case he hears a really loud noise (from a lorry or tractor), and anxiety at bedtime about having a bad dream. We’re doing all we can to reassure him but it doesn’t seem to be helping.

He’s also been anxious around going to school in case someone in his class tells on him, and he’s particularly frightened of the headteacher. I’ve spoken to his teacher about this and she was going to speak to him and ask the headteacher to come in and be more present so the kids could she she’s actually a nice person.

Also in the last couple of weeks, and what has prompted me to post, his separation anxiety around me leaving him with his Dad at bedtime has been really extreme, and the last two nights when I’ve left he’s got into such a rage that he’s physically attacking his Dad 😞 he’s never been like this before and it’s so out of character for him to lash out like that.

He has always been quite sensitive but it feels since starting school it’s reached a whole new level and I just feel at a loss in trying to support him through it, and feel like I’m just doing all the wrong things and making it worse.

Has anyone experienced similar around this time and do you have any advice as to what helped?

This sounds difficult and tou do have my sympathy. Was he in any kind of Childcare before going to school and were any issues raised there?

I think in your position i would ask to see his Teacher again avd see if she has any concerns about how he is settling at school.

If he’s suffering with separation anxiety at bedtime does he have things like a weighted blanket avd a light show or favourite music?

Thank you for responding. Yes he was in nursery and went to a play group and had no problems at all, he absolutely loved going to both. His teacher was surprised when I raised that he’d been feeling anxious, so I think he doesn’t show it when he’s at school then it all comes out when he’s back home with us.

With bedtime he still needs someone to sit with him until he falls asleep, and has never been able to self settle. It’s more that recently the only person he wants is me and me and his Dad have always shared bedtimes. It’s at the point when it’s time to leave me that the anxiety and rage is coming up for him.