Please help! My DS (2.7) is terrified of flies.

[justaphase]

He is phobic, in the same way that I hate snakes... except that snakes are so much easier to avoid. It is getting quite ridiculous now, he will not stay in a room if there is a fly inside, when we are outside he keeps looking nervously around.

When he sees one he completelyy freaks out, starts shaking and screaming and tries to run away... does not matter if it is into a busy road or whatever.

I have tried talking to him about it, explaining that they are so much smaller then him they can not possibly hurt him, they just fly around and make noise ..... it does not help. It is not a rational thing anyway. The only sensible explanation that I managed to get out of him was that he thinks they will sting him, I think he confuses them with bees. Explaining the difference did nothing to help and neither did telling him that bees only sting you if you try to steel their honey.

Any ideas please? Anybody else had to deal with this?

please.....

teach him to say hello fly

don't over-react to his fears

don't reinforce his fear

teach him to say hello bee too

is there any insect he doesn't mind? like an ant or a slug or a caterpillar, play with them and make up games

find books with flies in (there was an old woman who swallowed a fly) is one, and other insects .. sing songs play games ..

and don't ever justify his fears by freaking out with him

phobias can pass quickly in children this young if dealt with well IME

don't push him or restrain him from running away but if he does laugh gently at him 'what a silly-billy' or whatever terms you like to use and make a big fuss of saying hello to the fly yourself

and laughing at and with the fly too

hTH

been through this with two of them... they got over it - one was terrified of ants too - until my mil inadvertently showed them how to take off your shoe and whack them into oblivion... (the ants not the DCs)... now it's a game the whole family can play...

Ds had this too - he remains not too keen but doesn't freak out anymore.

Ditto what Moop suggests re saying hello. It will be hard as your ds sound like he is in such a state he won't be able to hear you so maybe talk about it with him before you see a fly next.

Maybe try making up a simple bedtime story which features a friendly fly !?!

thanks, will try all those. Have just bought a couple of plastic bugs, hopefully they help.

We are also potty training at the moment and yesterday had two accidents as flies flew into the room. Madness!

My DD is exactly the same about flies. I was baffled as she is fine about other insects, but then my mother told me that I used to be just the same! I've found that giving the flies identities and coming up with ideas about where they might be going has helped, and she now talks about 'my friend the fly' - as long as it's a small one. Big bluebottles are still a problem. I don't feel we've completely resolved it, but she is definitely less hysterical about it all now. Good luck!

I so sympathise - my dd is exactly the same too. Even the tiniest fly freaks her out and have spent the last week removing various sized flying insects from the house, paddling pool etc.

I have been trying to 'humanise' them by saying the fly has just come to say hello/see what you're having for lunch/is looking for his mummy etc. Have also tried talking and waving to the flies & saying hello. All this not to much avail.

Have just started to leave a chocolate button in whichever room the fly was is and saying to her 'Oh, he just came to bring you a choc button 'cos he wants to be your friend' - she then says she likes the fly....until the next one comes in through the window! Still, it's early days and I feel this tactic could work given time!

I don't mind flies, but have a phobia of moths and am not keen on butterflies either. I also panic a bit if I see a wasp -which is where she could have got this from as I did have an unguarded paddy moment when I saw one last summer. Must try really hard to stay calm around insects - hard when you're not keen yourself. Good luck!

My 2.5yo daughter is just the same, though she will stay in the room still, so it's not complete panic, tho it nearly got that way once the warmer weather started & more flying objects were around. But she still gets really upset and demands that someone get the fly out of the house! Last year she was overly interested in flying insects and would creep up and get very close to bees and even wasps! I was always terified that my tiny little girl was going to get stung, so I tried to encourage her to stay away since they might sting her. Well, now she's scared to death of them and will come in the house screaming if she hears one buzzing...and she's always thinking they're stinging her or getting in her hair, etc. Ants are another bad thing - she'll refuse to go outside if she sees a few of them creeping about on the pavement!

Definitely the age of multiple fears, this. dd1 was scared of trains, owls, bells, bugs, boys, and various other terrors one afte rthe other: none lasted long.

I used to say 'I see, you're scared' (with a hug or arm around her) to let her know I'd heard her, then let her see I wasn't scared, and either distract or 'humanize' as others have said - depending on the fear!

She's not scared of any of the above now, but dd2 - 19 mos - is horrified by any small bug, and flies and buzzy bees in particular