Can I sustain a friendship with another family that is not addressing their child's behavioral issues that are impacting my children?
My husband and I are friends with a couple with a single child. Their daughter is your typical single child. The kids have never gotten along, but as they're getting older it's becoming concerning.
Their daughter says mean things. Our friends seem in denial, so I don't want to be the one to tell them how concerning this is. But other families in our neighborhood have told me their kids don't like this girl, because she's mean, and frankly too old to be so mean, and self-centered.
All of the children involved are over 9 yrs. old. I've witnessed her lack empathy while making a pre-schooler cry, and she's asked other children to stop playing with kids who upset her. She's the only friend who I have to constantly mitigate fighting when she is over and she lacks any empathy.
One of my kids was diagnosed with ADHD. While researching potential disorders I learned about Oppositional Defiant Disorder, and Bi-polar Disorder, and how these disorders present themselves in children. From what I have seen, I think our friend's kid has a disorder.
Our friend's had their kid screened for ADHD. They determined she does not have it, so they've stoped pursuing therapy.
Recently, the fighting among the kids has become so bad that our kids have asked us to stop seeing our friends, and I don't blame them. We've been trying to see them when our kids are busy, or hire a sitter. The few times we all see each other a big fight always erupts.
I think both couples, want us to be long term family friends. Especially since we both live far from family.
I know I have to honor our children's feelings, and respect whatever course our friend's take with their child, I just feel really lucky to have friends like this couple, and I want to support them but I also feel the need to stay in my lane.
Interested to hear what others who have been through this have done. Many people have advised we probably won't stay friends with this other couple. I hope we can, but I also believe in accepting families as a whole. I would love to love my dear friend's daughter, but it's really hard when she's so mean to my kids.