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Anxiety in almost 4yo

3 replies

overthinker345 · 13/10/2025 09:10

I’m really unsure what to do and hoping for some useful advice and input. My dd is 3 years 10 months and seems to have developed quite bad anxiety all of a sudden and I don’t know what’s best to do.

She has gone extremely clingy and scared of everything - if we leave a room at home she panics and follows, even if it’s something minor like me going to the kitchen to get her a drink. I’ve tried narrating what I’m doing to pre empt it but it doesn’t seem to have had any effect.

On top of this, she’s developed a severe fear of the dark which I know is a standard fear for her age but we’re exhausted. She has been in her own room since 6 months without issue, where now she needs one of us to sleep next to her or she’s hysterical. She has a nightlight and I don’t know what to do with regards to this - last night I went back to my own bed, she woke up at 2am and was screaming because she was on her own so I had to go back in. She had worked herself up so much she didn’t sleep for two hours! I work full time and just can’t continue running on empty 😭

On top of this, she still has bottles of milk which are 100% a sleep crutch. She can’t fall asleep without it, but I also think milk contributes to night wakings. I’ve tried cold turkeying on it but again it causes massive hysterics.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
BunnyRuddington · 13/10/2025 21:43

That does sound exhausting. Is she in Nursery when you’re at work abd do they have any concerns?

overthinker345 · 14/10/2025 11:46

BunnyRuddington · 13/10/2025 21:43

That does sound exhausting. Is she in Nursery when you’re at work abd do they have any concerns?

Yes she’s at nursery 3 days a week, they’ve no concerns

OP posts:
BunnyRuddington · 14/10/2025 17:35

I think in your case i would talk to the HV. Having bottles at might at 4 is very unusual but I know that if your LO is very anxious, it can be difficult to take away those sleep crutches.

Your HV might be able to refer you to a HV who specialises in sleep.

You may find some useful tips in the No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers.

We found things like a weighted blanket, sleepy cream from Lush and guided meditation helped.

Before you see your HV, I would fill in the 4 year Social & Emotional Ages & Stages and take the results with you to the appointment with her. If your HV us reluctant to see you i would see the GP as this level of anxiety is a concern.

The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers - Elizabeth Pantley - The No-Cry Solution

The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers Gentle Ways to Stop Bedtime Battles and Improve Your Child’s Sleep   A breakthrough approach for a good night’s sleep–with no tearsYour toddler isn’t sleeping through the night. Your preschooler b...

https://elizabethpantley.com/no-cry/no-cry-sleep-toddlers/

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