Please or to access all these features

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

5.10 year old DS displaying PDA only at home.

5 replies

idontknowit · 12/10/2025 13:38

Hoping someone can offer some advice please.
I think my DS has PDA but possibly only displaying it at home.

He is in year 1 and from what I understand is very good at school, a little bit cheeky at times but nothing most of the other boys his age are like. He’s learning very well and has a lot of friends. He seems to thrive at school.

At home….god, it’s another story.
The only way I can put it is that I think he is unable to (and always has been) to accept authority from me and his dad. He seems to resent us for having authority, which he knows is there but he despises us for it. He acts like we are in existence purely to serve what he wants at that very moment in time, and if we dare spend time doing something that isn’t fully involving him, e.g. putting a wash out or having a shower, we are doing him an awful disservice. He acts like a spoilt brat to be honest. I know people will say that it is because we’ve let stuff go and he’s become this way as a result of us, but in this instance I don’t think that’s the case at all. We have been on at him his whole life to try and improve his attitude towards us, encourage him to speak in a nicer tone, to be more polite and charming.
He has a younger sister who is 2. I feel he has some kind of wall up with her as well. He is at times good with her and they enjoy each others company and always gravitate to each other, but I feel he is deeply jealous of her. He seems to be unable to accept her fully.

We have shown deep love and affection to DS his whole life, and he is at times amazing company, charming and sweet, but 90% of the time he is a moaning, awkward and extremely needy individual. He is a very uptight proud character and DH and I just hope and pray things will improve with age. I want nothing more than a wonderful relationship with him, but I do question if he is displaying PDA. At time I have wondered if it’s ADHD as well. I feel he is just too difficult. Anyone have any experience of this I’d be really keen to know.

OP posts:
idontknowit · 12/10/2025 15:08

Hopeful bump

OP posts:
idontknowit · 12/10/2025 18:33

very hopeful bump

OP posts:
BunnyRuddington · 13/10/2025 07:54

Have you discussed any of this with his Teacher? To be honest though I always got absolutely amazing reports back from School but I would still raise your concerns with them and see how he is being in school.

I would also fill in the 5 year Social & Emotional Ages & Stages and do this simple progress checker too.

Let us know what the results are Smile

idontknowit · 13/10/2025 16:26

Thank you @BunnyRuddington

The only thing that stands out to me here, on both forms, is that my son can’t sit and play for 15 minutes. He is just totally unable to keep himself busy and I think this is why he gets so frustrated. It’s like there’s a wall up in terms of being self sufficient. He took around 2.5 years to toilet train because he was so stubborn about it. It was like he was stressed by the fact he couldn’t control when he needed to go to the toilet and tried his hardest not to go which always ended in an accident which made him more anxious aboht it, rather than just accepting in his head that “i know I’m going to need the toilet a few times a day so I won’t try and control it” type thing.
I think he saw toileting as a demand on him, and one he wanted to resist.

The other thing that stood out to me is ‘does your child seem happy?’ - he does sometimes. But honestly quite often I think it’s just being hyper.
Sometiems I look at him and feel he seems depressed, vacant and stressed.

OP posts:
BunnyRuddington · 13/10/2025 20:42

Ok so what was the score on the Social & Emotional Ages & Stages?

New posts on this thread. Refresh page