Newborn and toddler advice please, sleep/morning routine

[Caspino]

Hi all,

I'd appreciate some input from parents of newborns and a toddler on 2 issues.

The first is my 2 week old.

He sleeps 3-4 hour stretches during the day but wakes every 1.5 hours at night for a feed and takes about half hour/45 minutes to feed and change etc before going back to sleep however one of those wakes results in a wake window of about 2-3 hours. I know frequent feeding is normal but that long wake stretch is killing me as I have no downtime during the day due to toddler needing me too. Is there anything I can do to help reduce that wake window? I feed him, burp and nappy change halfway through and back on the bottle and cuddle until he falls asleep.

The other issue is my toddler. She sleeps in her own room, dad has been sleeping in with her during the transition so I can bond with baby at night and she has her needs met when she wakes up.

He goes back to work next week and im not sure how to navigate the mornings.

Toddler wakes when newborn is having a feed and im worried that when she calls out for me I won't be able to attend to her right away.

She has a baby gate on her room and one at the top of the stairs, I was thinking about opening her room in the morning so when she wakes she can come to me and get in my bed while I feed baby.

What does everyone else do? Feeling a little lost as dont want either of my babies missing out when dad goes back to work.

Advice appreciated!!!

How old is your toddler? There is a huge difference between 18 months and 3 years old. Can she go up and down stairs unaided, why do you need the gates? I think the locking her away so you can tend to baby is giving her the wrong signals. Look at it from her point of view a baby has come and now her Mum is only fixed on the baby. So keeping her out is a bad idea.

The toddler and newborn stage is tough.

Also you can get up whilst feeding a baby, you can also put the baby down and finish feed after you've done whatever you need to do to keep toddler content. The baby is not going to be neglected if you put down for 2 minutes to get your toddler a drink or wipe their bottom or something. This is what I did.

What exactly are you doing with a 2 week old in the middle of the night that means you can't sleep? Are they in crib, moses basket? I just used to put mine back down and they'd either nod off or cry?

My toddler is not locked away, she has a baby gate on her room for use only after she has gone to sleep for safety's sake as I would be concerned if she wandered in the night, got into things in the bathroom etc etc I am not at all comfortable with my LO being unsupervised on the stairs either. I have a monitor in her room also so know if she wakes in the night and respond to her appropriately.

She has had so much attention since baby came home to help her with the transition including one to one time with me out of the house already but I know when dad goes back to work she may feel it a little more as I won't be as available?

At night I am feeding, burping, changing the newborn. I can and do put him down mid feed to respond to the toddler if she needs me but I am not comfortable with letting either of my kids cry it out so I guess I was just looking for some advice on how to minimise the upset during his big night time wake window.

He sleeps in a next to me.

I don't know how to minimise the upset in the night but I can say it won't last forever, might even change by next week as he is so little.

I didn't intend to imply you were locking away but I do think that maybe the gate is not as necessary as you think. You didn't say how old she is. But if you have a monitor in her room abd you wake up then I don't think you need the gate. Of course any medicines or dangerous objects should be out of reach but think the rest is OK. It sounds like you are a bit more worried than you need to be.

The toddler and baby stage is exhausting but we do all get through it you have to deal with the sleepless nights. It is a special time so enjoy it and don't let one of them needing to wait stress you out. It will be fine and you know what she will never remember that you made her wait for a drink/snack/play whatever. She won't, it won't upset her. It is just a worry that you have as a mother I promise you

Does that baby wake her at night? I'm not quite sure what the problem is at night? Because 3 hours awake with a 2 week old is totally normal. You do just have to get through it and lower your standards on everything.