DD (4 1/2) waking up 18-20 times a night-I can't go on like this-it's worse than having a newborn!

[Ilovebunting]

Dd has never slept through, but this is ridiculous. She is waking up every 15-20 minutes all through the night every night and crying like she has been shocked awake, and can't calm down until I cuddle her. I feel so ill and am so short tempered because of it! It used to be 2 or 3 times a night, but has slowly got more and more frequent. I just want one single unbroken night of sleep-I've waited four years for it!!!

Are you sure she isn't ill?

Does she sleep better with you? Only becaue my (similarly non-sleeping through) 2 year old sometimes sleeps better in her bed on her own after a couple of nights of being with me - not sure why, maybe the reassurance...

Does she know why she is waking up?

I ususally end up in with her by 2am (to the extent where I am thinking of putting my bed in her room and hers in mine, just so I can have some room!!) as I can't bear to keep getting up again, and she does carry on waking but goes back to sleep a lot sooner. She gives reasons like being scared she isn't at home (she stays with her dad sometimes so she means that she thinks she is there-but he adores her-it's nothing sinister!), she had nightmares, she was scared that I had left her, things along that vein. She is such a confident girl during the day that it seems strange that all these fears are coming out at night.

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Oooooooh thanks for the book flossie-I am desperate for a normal night! And am so glad I am not alone-I'm too scared to mention it to any rl mums as they will think it's down to bad parenting, but my mum was told never to go in if I had nightmares or woke up in the night, and I remember needing her desperately, and didn't want dd to feel like that, so made a rod for my own back! I do leave her to cry, especially if I am still pottering about, but she will get up and come and find me, still in hysterics. Have been told by one mum to put a lock on the door and ignore her!!!

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Go tou your Gp and ask for a referral to a peadiatrician and/or the local camhs parent and child service who have specially trained psycholigists who work with the under 5s.

If they can't help they can refer you to a sleep clinic, you both desrve this. hope you and your dd feel better soon

I used to take my children into bed with us when this happened. Then you can cuddle them and get some rest at the same time. Frowned upon in this country, but interestingly enough considered perfectly good parenting practice in Sweden where I come from.

In fact, we sometimes still gets visitors. But then ds has the best bed in the house, so whoever gets kicked out of the marital bed is at least assured of a good night's sleep.

psychologists i can spell just terrible typist!

Would agree with getting her checked out to make sure there is nothing physically wrong. Then I would consider a few things:

1. Is there anything in her bedtime routine that could be changed? A friend of mine's daughter started waking with nightmares and when they stopped giving her milk at bedtime the dreams stopped. Could you also make sure when you tuck her in that she is absolutely happy and confident that she knows where she is?

1. Does she sleep OK at her dads? If so, can you look at making her room in your house more similar so it is familiar wherever she wakes up?

1. Does she miss her father? Would a photo of him or one of each of you by her bed to watch over her and stop the bad dreams help?

Good luck - you must be exhausted!

Thank you so much! Dd's feet haven't grown for over 6 months, but hadn't started worrying about it until now!!! She seems to be the same height as the others at nursery though. Will take her to the gp and see what they say, thank you xx

Just another 'you are not alone' from me. DD2 is exactly the same (aged 4 1/2) and has never been a particularly good sleeper. I think DD1 got all the sleep genes, she is barely awake but DD2 wakes all the time. And don't you just love the light evenings?

Just gone into dd's room to see why she was so quiet and she has crawled into bed and gone to sleep! Poor little mite! We're meant to be setting off for nursery now! Argh! Have ordered the book from amazon xx

my dd is the same, always has been a 'bad' sleeper. She is 5.5

She usually ends up in my bed, and DP ends up in the spare room. I was similar at this age and I guess i eventually grew out of it.

Don't worry about letting her sleep with you, it ensures that everyone gets some sleep
and it won't last forever.

Oh yes grumpy-the light evenings are FABULOUS! (Evil light evenings!!)