Delayed or autism? 13 month old (so anxious)

[ch90]

Hi all,

my 13 month old daughter is definitely delayed in social / communication skills however I am specifically worried about autism. I am so anxious to the point it’s keeping me up at night.

She can’t point. She used to wave then stopped doing it. She has recently started clapping but rarely does this. She does respond to her name but it’s 50/50 really depending on her mood. She does make eye contact but doesn’t hold it for very long at all.
She does babble mama, gaga, baba, ca, and P sounds. Did used to babble da da but doesn’t any more. When I try and interact / play with her, most of the time these days she just wants to do her own thing/ be left alone. She is affectionate etc but never shares her interests with me. She doesn’t understand language for example if I said bring me a ball she wouldn’t have a clue. She never hands me any objects.

Fine and gross motor skills she’s perfect.

Can anyone relate or have advice?

just to clarify, her having autism wouldn’t make me love her any less and I would fight through ANYTHING for her to get her support etc. I just don’t want to see her struggle in life.

thank you!

This sounds exactly like my little boy at this age. He turned two in June and still has very little speech but his nonverbal communication has started to come along. I took him along to the GP at around 13 months when I first grew concerned and they suggested putting him in nursery, which may be worth a try if you haven’t already? The Health Visitors have also been very useful with guidance and support. I doubt you’ll get any diagnosis at this age (we still haven’t) but the earlier you intervene the better with speech. We had some free speech therapy sessions through the health visitor and also paid for a few, which is definitely worth it if it’s an option for you. The uncertainty is definitely the worst part but feeling like I was taking action was really helpful for my anxiety.

Following because I think I'm in a similar boat with my 12 month DS to be honest :/

He can't wave at all, won't even try.
He points... ish, to be honest his pointing is more just sticking his finger in my mouth because the feel of my teeth and tongue makes him laugh lol - though to be fair he will prod and poke at books, especially if its textured.
He won't "show" me things or toys.
He doesn't have any words with meaning, he did babble a lot, dadada, mumumum, nanana, guh, goo, bah, boo, put, tuh, yah, yeh, but a lot of that seems to have gone away or lessened quite a lot - he's not said dadada or mumumum for a good while now.... and even when he was I'm not sure he associated those with me or DH really.
He doesn't really copy or mimic unless smiling back when you smile counts.
He cries when left, but when playing I get the impression he'd much rather play independently than with me, he often pushes me away when I try to join in with him 😅

Hes very smiley, loves dogs and cats, his eye contact is fine (I think), hes crawling, cruising, clapping (though won't do it prompted or copy it, it has to be on his own terms), he knows his name but will actively ignore you saying it lol, he understands no and when he shouldn't be doing something as he turns around with a big cheeky grin, he'll play peekaboo but again only on his terms and very rarely, he won't copy really.

He just had his 1yo jabs and he's all bunged up with cold, and he's really coming along with trying to walk - I think he'll manage it soon, so it could just be all the other stuff has taken a back seat whilst he figures out walking and getting past this bug he's got and getting over his MMR jabs?
But regardless I'm sure his progress has gone backwards with language and communication! 😟

We've started having Ms Rachel on the TV to try and help out a bit because he seems more happy with that than directly interacting with us for some reason, he just gets frustrated with us when we try and do our own version of Ms Rachel, but the guilt is horrendous.

He doesn't have screen time in the form of an ipad, but we'll have the telly on for background noise - I think I'd go insane in a silent room all day doing nothing but baby play, songs, books, and interactions, but I've read online that having the telly on even just in the background is bad for wee ones and cause delays. I can't imagine what other parents are doing though??

We must read to him upwards of five books each in a day, so ten stories, plus two more at bed time.
We talk to him, sing, play, show, do noises, got him a bunch of educational and interactive toys, but nothing seems to be helping him a long no matter what we do - it just makes me worry that I'm not doing enough, or not doing the right things

We need to socialise him more and get him around other kiddos his age, we have no friends live in an awkward place and don't drive, but we've found a bookbug session we can get to at a push, so we've started that, and we're looking for a soft play place we could get the train to, but it is difficult as hell to get socialising going when you don't really know anyone 😔

I think your little girl sounds like she’s doing just fine.

Pointing needs to come by 18 months - she has plenty of time.

13 months also seems really young for following commands! My middle child didn’t do that until closer to 2 (He pointed at 16 months but very irregularly) He’s now 6 and neurotypical.

My youngest (22 months) Only more recently understands commands, and she’s 100% neurotypical. She pointed at 16 months too.

You have plenty of time for these things to come along. Put Miss Rachel on!

In the exact same boat 🥺 worried as hell