DD (2.5) suddenly doesnt like me and her behaviour is having a really bad knock on effect on our family, advice please?

[scootermum]

..I know its called the terrible twos for a reason but this is now out of hand.DD screams every time I pick her up and refuses to have anything to do with me, when anyone else is there, in particular DH.For example the other day she said she wanted her breakfast.I got it ready for her.She went into a total rage, screaming 'Daddy do it' and wouldnt eat until DH had come to the kitchen.I am probably the more disciplinarian of the two of us which might go some way to explaining it but it is still very upsetting.(She is ok with me if there is no one else there) Has anyone else ever had this?How is best to react with it.(Probably not teh way I did at teh weekend which was to end up in tears myself )
The other thing is that her tantrums (even when not with me) are now out of control..she rages at absolutely everything and its becoming impossible to take her out.Her younger sister, (1 this week) now starts to cry whenever DD does and its making life almost impossible..Anyone any advice for the best ways of dealing with this?I am at the end of my tether

Firstly, don't take it personally. She is 2, and her brain is working differently to ours.
Personally, I would assess the family situation- do you find yourselves pairing off? ( Quite common in family of four)
Are youi at home with her or working?

Do you think it might be sibling rivalry? Do you get to spend any time with her without the baby? Perhaps she's 'cross' with you because of the time you spend with the baby.

My DS1 (3.5)was ok with DS2 (1 last week) as a tiny baby but when he started being interesting and crawling etc DS1 suddenly regressed and started having tantrums again and wetting himself. Have started spending time with DS1 on our own, either DH takes the baby out or we go to the park. cinema or something. He's improving now.

Yes, I think that time alone is important, having special days or mornings when it is just the two of you.
Also, just be consistent and loving, and this phase will quickly pass.

I did wonder if it was because DD2 has started coming into her own a bit more now, crawling and what not.

I was thinking of taking her out for a day on her own without her sister as I dont see her much without DD2..but at the moment she wont even go into the kitchen with me if her Daddy is around, much less get into the car or the buggy to go out.Think will have to give it a go though...

I work 4 days a week which I think probably isnt affecting her positively either but I dont have a choice re that and she does seem to love her cm (2 days a week) and her Nan, the other two days.

Im hoping its just a phase as I m actually getting quite nervous about spending time with her or as a family now which I know is not a good way to be.Plus DH is havoing to shpulder all of ehr 'normal' tnatrums at the moment which is pretty tiring for him too I guess.

Working as well is really hard. I was working 4 days a week too until I snapped and screamed 'I RESIGN!' in my bosses face after he told me I was unfocussed. He wasn't even being horrible really, just concerned (although not that helpful!)

I think you just have to bite the bullet with your DD, she'll come round.

its a phase and it will pass

my two year old definitely prefers her dad to me at the moment and that is just fine - my 5 year old prefers me at the mo - the little one likes fun and rough and tumble and the older one wants to talk school, friends and clothes

i think my dd2 prefers dad because he is nicer than me - not strict, lots of messing about - cant blame her really - perhaps try to be the fun one for a change - and ask your dh to be the firm one if it is bothering you

My DS is like this occasionally and he is my only child at the moment. I'm a SAHM as well. I think it is just one of those phases, as upsetting as it can be. I like to think that he is just secure that I'm always around for him so enjoys being with his dad or grandparents whenever they are there. That said, he's not having tantrums on the scale that you describe so I'm not so stressed out about it. I hope you get it sorted